sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: The Michelin Man
Rating: General
Summary: Steve was not prepared for this at six am on his day off.
Notes: Minopoke on tumblr posted the following:
"Michelin has gone to extraordinary lengths to maintain the anonymity of its inspectors. Many of the company's top executives have never met an inspector; inspectors themselves are advised not to disclose their line of work, even to their parents (who might be tempted to boast about it); and, in all the years that it has been putting out the guide, Michelin has refused to allow its inspectors to speak to journalists."
Okay but Michelin inspector AU where they use all the cheesy spy lines and dodgy excuses and their SO is convinced they work for the CIA or something. but actually they just really secretly review restaurants.

Starkerized then suggested I don't know who fits the bill for this job but my first thought was FOODIEVERSE.

It's not quite what Minopoke suggested but the whole thing gave me an idea.

Warnings: None.

Part of the Foodieverse series; also available at AO3.

The banging on Steve's apartment door woke him from a dead sleep... )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Apprentices
Rating: General
Summary: Using Bucky to keep Tony entertained wasn't Steve's best idea.
Notes: Prompted by onemuseleft: I misread "Starbuck" as "Starkbuck" and got all excited that you were writing a Tony/Bucky domestic baking AU. I saw domestic baking but I heard Foodieverse.
Warnings: None.

Part of the Foodieverse series; also available at AO3.

All-Purpose Flour is my nemesis. )

Truckbru

Jun. 25th, 2016 09:26 am
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Truckbru
Rating: General
Summary: Tony's idea of a food truck is...interesting.
Notes: Inspired by two prompts:
agentpaxieamor: Steve is going to be taking his truck to NY ComicCon, Tony decides he has to have a truck there too. His truck is... Interesting.
katisatotalnerd: Are there any parades in the Foodieverse? Does Steve drag Tony to the parades? Do Steve and Sam set up their trucks along the parade path? Does Steve badger Tony to set up some sort of promotional table for TOBRU?
Warnings: None.

Part of the Foodieverse series; also available at AO3.

Tadaa! )

Protege

Jun. 25th, 2016 08:49 am
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Protege
Rating: General
Summary: Steve was prepared to be coldly polite to Jarvis, until he figured out who he actually was.
Notes: Prompted by drivemetogeek: What's/Who's Jarvis in Foodieverse?
Warnings: None.

Part of the Foodieverse series; also available at AO3.

JARVIS! )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: The Brother and the Mother
Rating: Teen and Up
Summary: Clint's brother shows up, and Clint disappears.
Notes: I love how these "the _____ and the _____" titles keep getting more ridiculous. Also, I know Barney's been somewhat rehabilitated as of late, in the Hawkeye comic, but I love him as a villain...

Part of the Silver Age series; also available at AO3.

The first the Young Ultimates knew about it... )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: The Ranger And The Stray
Summary: Clint Barton was always the kid brother in the background, until one day he definitely was not.
Rating: Teen and Up
Notes: In a previous story in the series, The Music Room And The Penthouse, I mentioned that Clint’s role in the inner circle of Tony’s friends is akin to “mascot”. It inspired me to write about Clint, the youngest member of the hottest society set in Manhattan and thus the entire city’s baby brother, clinging desperately to Tony and Bucky as his Gay Role Models. And the moment Tony offhandedly introduces him to Phil Coulson...
Warnings: Mention of kidnapping and recuperation.

Part of the Silver Age series; also available at AO3.

Phil! Hey, Phil! )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: The Music Room And The Penthouse
Rating: Teen and Up
Summary: Maria Stark makes a place for her son's many friends; Tony also makes his own place for them.
Notes: This was initially two separate stories, neither titled, but both being short I thought they went particularly well together. Written for the June Fic Fest in June of 2016. Prompts were:
Anonymous: I just adore your Jan and Natasha interacting with Maria, and I'd love to see their shopping trip! Or just the aftermath, with Jarvis providing soothing beverages after a frenetic day out.
Anonymous: I really love your Silver Age series, so could you maybe write Tony and Bucky cuddling/tinkering together in that universe?
Warnings: None.

Part of the Silver Age universe; also available at AO3.

Maria was playing piano when Tony came into the morning room... )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Hotline
Rating: Teen (Steve/Tony)
Summary: Steve knows a lot about cooking and he loves to help people. The job was a natural fit.
Notes: Based in the foodieverse, where everyone is a chef; you probably need to read that to fully get it, but all you really need to know is that Tony is co-owner of a haute cuisine molecular gastronomy joint called TOBRU and Steve drives a food truck called War On Hunger. Inspired by a tumblr post about Butterball's helpline, which you can read here.
Warnings: None.

Also available at AO3.

I can't believe you're not working on Thanksgiving. )
sam_storyteller: (Gen Fic)
Title: The Adventures Of Isobel, Princess Of Space
Rating: PG (Clint/Coulson background)
Summary: Izzy is settling into her new school, and Clint and Coulson are settling into their new relationship -- but Clint's having some parental separation issues, Coulson's still recovering from being dead, and a weekend to themselves would be really nice. Thor might be able to help them with their babysitting problem...
Notes: Partly inspired by Gypsylady on AO3 who requested "the story of Thor taking Izzy to Asgard so she can be a space princess." I have to admit this is stitched up together from three separate Izzy stories so may not be the most coherent, but I hope you guys enjoy it anyway. And if you're interested, you can witness the glory and horror of The Brave Little Toaster here.
Warnings: None.

Also available at AO3.

Isobel started school. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: The Comrade And The Carnie
Rating: G
Summary: The Stark Family And Adopted Waifs field trip to Coney Island to buy Natasha a hot dog started out with nine people and ended with ten. Well, Clint didn't take up much space and was impressively skilled...
Notes: Written during a live real-time "Watch me write" on December 6th. This is a coda to the Silver Age AU, where Tony was born in 1950 and Bucky was recovered in 1967 in a failed attempt to assassinate the Starks. Inspired by a brilliant title offered by MewWitch in comments: "Any Chance that the trip to Coney Island will have them meet up with a certain Carney archer? It could be titled The Comrade and the Carnie."
Warnings: None.

Also available at AO3.

I wouldn't think Howard would want to go to Coney Island... )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Toy Soldiers
Rating: R
Summary: When Steve Rogers, five foot four and a hundred and ten pounds, met Tony Stark in a bar, he didn't expect it to lead to a relationship. Or that Tony would find out he's not an art student during a SHIELD rescue mission in Afghanistan.
Warnings: Violence; some brief discussion of suicide in a later chapter (no actual suicide or attempt).
Notes: Inspired by a prompt posted here. It got a little out of hand.

Also available at AO3.

Steve maybe didn't think this all the way through. )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Every year I do a post of all the bits of fic I couldn't find a place for. Some stand alone pretty well; most are just starts I don't have the interest or energy to finish.

Thse works are also available at AO3.

Snowpiercer: After The End Of The World
Rating: PG
Summary: Curtis has hope, now. Yona has only her survival.
Notes: After seeing Snowpiercer, I desperately wanted to fix it, which I know is kind of directly opposing the spirit of the film. But the end was just...hard. So this was my idea for a fixit, which would eventually have included Curtis walking the train tracks to get back to New York.
Warnings: Brief discussions of cannibalism and rape. Brief nonconsensual drug use.

SPOILERS for the end of Snowpiercer.

For a moment she thought perhaps it was a sign. )

Captain America: The Greatest Generations
Rating: G
Summary: Steve couldn't be there for his children, and he won't abandon any of their children -- even if they're older than him now.
Notes: I wanted to try a different sort of story about Steve and kids, particularly about the possibility of a Serum breeding program. It got slightly out of hand and then ground madly to a halt.
Warnings: Discussion of parental death; brief discussion of all-partners-consensual extramarital affairs.

What happened to my kids? )

Captain America: Rebuilding SHIELD
Rating: PG
Summary: In the aftermath of SHIELD's destruction, Steve has more hard decisions -- and more friends -- than he expected.
Notes: This is a super long and going-nowhere-fast fic I wrote after seeing Winter Soldier three times in three days, and it was almost immediately jossed by Agents of Shield. Always the way.
Warnings: Extensive description of hospital stay and injury-related PTSD.

The police found James Barnes in the alley that used to lead to Steve's apartment... )

Marvel Comics: The Incredible Roadtrippers
Rating: PG
Summary: Steve and Bucky are good role models who make poor life decisions.
Notes: This was a longer take on my "Quentin as the spiritual successor to Captain America" fic I did here.
Warnings: None.

I put some lasagne aside for you. )

Captain America: Twelve Tiny Steves Again
Rating: PG
Summary: Bucky can't help looking after Steve. Even eight of him.
Notes: This is a more traditional take on the Twelve Tiny Steves trope, inspired by this post.
Warnings: Brief scene of child abuse.

It's been a year since Bucky came back... )

Avengers: The Offspring
Rating: PG
Summary: When Tony and Rumiko's daughter announces she's marrying Rhodey and Carol's son, Steve might be the only one who can prevent another civil war.
Notes: I don't even remember where this came from, but it was fun writing Tony with a kid, and doubly so Rhodey and Carol.
Warnings: None.
Five days was all I asked. )

Avengers: The Time Gem
Rating: G
Summary: Steve is tiny, Bucky is back, and Sam and Tony both need a drink.
Notes: I love writing uppity tiny Steve. But I realized even more than that, I wanted Classic Bucky Barnes and the modern Avengers.
Warnings: None.

The hows and why aren't really that important. )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Part One
Part Two

NINE: HAIR APPARENT
Rating: PG (Gen)
Summary: You'd think Hydra would know more about hot oil.
Prompt: amekage: bucky's hair is a goddamned mess. Did HYDRA not hear of a brush?
copperbadge: Hydra does not deep condition! Discipline only comes from split ends! Now I want Natasha taking charge of Bucky and being like "Jesus, didn't Nazis have hairbrushes? Does Hydra think split ends are manly?" And Bucky's like, broken inside and miserable AND YET he starts loling. And then she's like I THOUGHT HYDRA LIKED HOT OIL.

Also available at AO3. The original draft of this story may be found here.

They found Bucky on a Thursday... )

TEN: THEMS
Rating: PG (Steve/Tony)
Summary: Steve discovers a secret simulation on the game server.
Prompt: Hailtherandom: according to icalendar, i am supposed to remind you to write midnight theater about jarvis playing the sims and making an avengers family

Also available at AO3. The original draft of this story may be found here.

The communal game server at Avengers Tower was an interesting mix... )

ELEVEN: WRECKING THE LAB
Rating: R
Summary: Tony Stark and Betty Ross have been friends since they were nine, and friends with benefits since they were fifteen...
Prompt: Mageflower: Formal request for Betty/Tony filthy lab sex :D

Also available at AO3. The original draft of this story may be found here.

I'm Tony. You're Betty Ross. My dad said your dad's a prick. )

TWELVE: YANKEE BUCK
Rating: R
Summary: Bucky is overpaid, oversexed, and over here -- but the barman doesn't seem to mind.
Prompt:

magpieandwhale: Fun fact! The indignant English bartender in this scene is the same actor who played tiny Steve.
actualmenacebuckybarnes: Fun fact! After seeing Steve gazing longingly at Peggy, Bucky waited for Steve to leave his side then propositioned the indignant English bartender for a night of angst-ridden lookalike sex.

Also available at AO3. The original draft of this story may be found here.

You're here with the big bloke, aren't you? )

THIRTEEN: POOR LITTLE RICH HERO GIRL CLUB
Rating: PG
Summary: Quinn is kidnapped by Wasp and Hawkeye. Sort of.
Prompt: Historymiss: If you're still doing hydrocone midnight theatre I'd love to see some more Quinn quire !

Also available at AO3. The original draft of this story may be found here.

Quinn Quire is a former terrorist, self-proclaimed... )

FOURTEEN: NESTING
Rating: G
Summary: The Avengers aren't bothered by the cold. It's the chill.

Also available at AO3. The original draft of this story may be found here.

It's winter in New York, and starting to make itself known. )

FIFTEEN: BRIGHT EYES
Rating: PG
Summary: Steve might have a fixation on Tony’s minor mutation.
Notes: This is set in the universe of the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes animated cartoon, where Tony has remarkable gold-brown eyes.

Also available at AO3. The original draft of this story may be found here.

Tony Stark had the strangest eyes Steve had ever seen... )

SIXTEEN: MAKE IT RAIN
Rating: PG (Steve/Tony)
Summary: Steve Rogers is SO DONE with global warming.
Prompt: Scifigrl47: Steve/Tony in the rain. Do with that what you will. Maybe kisses. Just saying.

Also available at AO3.

Look, all I'm saying is that I didn't die for my country and spend seventy years unconscious just to put up with 98 percent humidity )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Three Sentence Alternate Universe Fics
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Violence; homophobic language; fleeting mention of dubcon
Summary: A series of three sentence fanfics written to prompt, focused on Alternate Universes.

Also available at AO3.

Three Sentence Alternate Universe Fics )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Part One

SEX SIX: ROMANTIC POETS AND NATIONAL ICONS
Rating: R
Warnings: None
Summary: Loki needs advice, and Captain America is just the man to help.
Notes: This is a weird little appendix to my Coulson's Eleven AU.
Prompt: lisechen: while you are stoned, i feel i should shamelessly take advantage of this unprecedented opportunity, and nudge you gently towards loki/natasha from your marvelous (aha!) Coulson's Eleven AU.

Also available at AO3. The original draft of this story may be found here.

But it's only sex. I mean it is only sex, yes? )

SEVEN: THE STARS UPON THARS
Rating: PG
Warnings: Character death, sort of.
Summary: Steve Rogers discovers the Grinch, but he already knew Dr. Seuss...
Prompt: Anonymous: You still taking Hydrocodone Theater requests? It occurred to me today that Steve's probably never heard of the Grinch, and that Tony probably references it a lot around Christmas.

Also available at AO3. The original draft of this story may be found here.

Theodore Geisel’s career began with political cartooning, ad graphics, and humorous illustration in 1927. )

EIGHT: PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A ROBOT
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Summary: Dummy discovers self-expression through sculpture.
Prompt:

prostheticknowledge: MATAERIAL: A 3D Printing system that can create forms without the hindrance of gravity.

copperbadge: Well fuck, someone taught Dummy to sculpt.

knottahooker: STEVE’S FAULT.



Also available at AO3. The original draft of this story may be found here.

Steve didn’t feel this could accurately be called his fault. )

APPENDIX: GOOD DECISIONS
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Summary: Ian and Anthony's first holiday season on Earth 616 is a little rocky, but the Rogers boys and the Stark boys can survive anything if they stick together.
Prompt: Sam: I took some drugs. I should do a hydrocodone midnight theatre, I’m dozy enough.
Knotta: IAN AND ANTHONY AT CHRISTMAS
Sam: GDI KNOTTA

Based on an unfinished story about Ian Rogers and Anthony Stark here.

Also available at AO3.

As the autumn wore on, it became evident to the adults that there was some kind of information fatigue setting in. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Coulson's Eleven
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After Vanko destroyed the Stark Expo, SHIELD instituted a Superhuman Detention program, designed to capture and hold dangerous people -- dangerous people like Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and others who made themselves noticeable. The superhumans SHIELD has imprisoned -- and some SHIELD agents themselves -- have other ideas about what constitutes 'dangerous'...

Chapter Six

The pizza place was open, sort of, when the Avengers reached it. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Coulson's Eleven
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After Vanko destroyed the Stark Expo, SHIELD instituted a Superhuman Detention program, designed to capture and hold dangerous people -- dangerous people like Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and others who made themselves noticeable. The superhumans SHIELD has imprisoned -- and some SHIELD agents themselves -- have other ideas about what constitutes 'dangerous'...

Chapter Five

Coulson's intel was sound. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Coulson's Eleven
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After Vanko destroyed the Stark Expo, SHIELD instituted a Superhuman Detention program, designed to capture and hold dangerous people -- dangerous people like Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and others who made themselves noticeable. The superhumans SHIELD has imprisoned -- and some SHIELD agents themselves -- have other ideas about what constitutes 'dangerous'...

Chapter Four

Tony had tried to make their new home hospitable. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Coulson's Eleven
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After Vanko destroyed the Stark Expo, SHIELD instituted a Superhuman Detention program, designed to capture and hold dangerous people -- dangerous people like Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and others who made themselves noticeable. The superhumans SHIELD has imprisoned -- and some SHIELD agents themselves -- have other ideas about what constitutes 'dangerous'...

Chapter Three

They spent the morning planning, and most of the afternoon as well. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Coulson's Eleven
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After Vanko destroyed the Stark Expo, SHIELD instituted a Superhuman Detention program, designed to capture and hold dangerous people -- dangerous people like Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and others who made themselves noticeable. The superhumans SHIELD has imprisoned -- and some SHIELD agents themselves -- have other ideas about what constitutes 'dangerous'...

Chapter Two

It took Natasha about ten minutes to shake their tail... )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Coulson's Eleven
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After Vanko destroyed the Stark Expo, SHIELD instituted a Superhuman Detention program, designed to capture and hold dangerous people -- dangerous people like Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and others who made themselves noticeable. The superhumans SHIELD has imprisoned -- and some SHIELD agents themselves -- have other ideas about what constitutes 'dangerous'...

Chapter One

Steve was almost asleep when he heard the sound. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Coulson's Eleven
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After Vanko destroyed the Stark Expo, SHIELD instituted a Superhuman Detention program, designed to capture and hold dangerous people -- dangerous people like Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and others who made themselves noticeable. The superhumans SHIELD has imprisoned -- and some SHIELD agents themselves -- have other ideas about what constitutes 'dangerous'...
Warnings: Some discussion of imprisonment and post-imprisonment trauma. Discussion in the early chapters of involuntary medical procedures (an unwanted injection).
Notes: This is the brainchild of assvengrrs on Tumblr, who suggested an AU which entranced me so much I had to write a fic. The concept and some of the dialogue from this fic come from that post.
Beta credit: Thanks to Knotta, Foxy, and Gypsy for fixing what was broken and reminding me of Jane Foster's awesome.

Also available at AO3.

It began with an idea. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Homicide Love
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Gore, extreme violence, mentions of rape (not by or of the main characters).
Summary: Mike has been waiting all his life for someone who understands -- but Harvey might care too much to survive.
Notes: Written to a prompt at the Suits Meme: Basically, Serial Killer Mike? He has access to big bad guys now, what does he do with that? I would love this to be slash, meld this story as you see fit anon. With debts to Dexter, American Psycho, and Hannibal (the books primarily, but the screen media as well).

Also available at AO3.

Mike understands now, in a way he didn't, couldn't as a child. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Hawkeye and Anklebiter
Rating: G
Summary: Clint wants to give his kid the world. Isobel's not complicated; she'll settle for a couple of superheroes and a train set.
Notes: Dr Kara requested "Single-dad Clint/Coulson" and while I'd seen Coulson as a dad in fanfic, I'd never seen Clint, so.
BETA CREDIT OMG: [livejournal.com profile] kallaneboi, [personal profile] 51stcenturyfox, and [livejournal.com profile] gypsylady helped fix what needed it!
Warnings: Very brief mentions of PTSD and child abuse. Less brief mentions of grief and mourning.

I'm not sure really how to mention this without spoiling, but uh. There's a happy ending, ok? Happy ending. Keep it in mind.

This fanfic is currently only available at AO3, as Dreamwidth refuses to post it.
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Feed The Body, Nourish The Soul
Rating: PG (language)
Summary: Steve Rogers just wanted to sell good, nourishing, cheap food from his food truck. Now the crazy fusion chefs from TOBRU are calling him a hipster, the avant garde restaurant "Shield" across the street has declared war on chains, and...well, then there's Thor, who thinks Steve's habit of licking food is weird.
Warnings: None.
Notes: This was inspired by a post on tumblr, so I can't take credit for the idea. I'm not a chef, I've just read a lot of books about food, so my apologies for any inaccuracies. Also I wanted to say, at the outset, that I have nothing against the Food Network, chain restaurants, or seasoned fries. I actually love seasoned fries.

Also available at AO3.

Blackglass has done a lovely podfic of this fic, and Reena Jenkins has also done a wonderful podfic version!

Other stories in the "foodieverse" have been added to the end of this post, and are also available at AO3, linked from the version above.

TOBRU and War On Hunger are usually located next to each other... )

Title: The Hot Hipster Chef Documentary
Rating: PG
Summary: Someone made a documentary about Steve without his permission. Or Tony's.

We just saw the video. )

Title: Pairing
Rating: PG
Summary: Steve is having some doubts about Tony. Tony's, well, not.

Crab crisps or baconost crackers? )

Title: Hot Potato
Rating: G
Summary: Potato Rescue is the hottest new food truck nobody knows about. Steve is determined to make Sam Wilson king of all potatoes.

Eat this. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Works No Longer In Progress, 2012
Rating: G through R
Fandoms: Avengers, Sherlock, Suits, White Collar, Merlin
Warnings: See descriptions for warnings. There's only one or two that even need them.
Notes: Every year (well, okay, once last year, and now again) I do a post of all the bits of fic I couldn't find a place for. Some stand alone pretty well; most are just starts I don't have the interest or energy to finish.

Also available at AO3.

Avengers )

Powers )

Suits )

Sherlock )

White Collar/Merlin )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Trustworthy
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Rhodey and Antonia, through the years.
Notes: This is a "timestamp" or side-story written for [livejournal.com profile] mremre, who did me a solid and requested an Ironsides story with Tony and Rhodey. It got to be a bit of a babyfic, but I'm surprisingly okay with that. Ironsides is set in an alternate universe where Howard Stark married Peggy Carter and Tony was born female.

Also here at AO3.

James Rhodes is Tony's oldest friend. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Better To Reign In Hell 4/4
Summary: Loki has been lied to.
See Chapter 1 Header for Warnings and Notes

Chapter Three

I expected you to be on the walls with your men. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Better To Reign In Hell 3/4
Summary: Loki has been lied to.
See Chapter 1 Header for Warnings and Notes

Chapter Two

I've had two hours sleep and I'm considering shooting caffeine intravenously. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Better To Reign In Hell 2/4
Summary: Loki has been lied to.
See Chapter 1 Header for Warnings and Notes

Chapter One

Or shall I call you Captain of the Guard? )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Better To Reign In Hell
Rating: PG-13 for swears and violence
Summary: Loki has known since childhood that he was Jotun. He's been told all his life that he was a fosterling sent to Asgard to cement the bonds between their realms. He's been led to believe one day he would ascend the throne of Jotunheim. Loki has been lied to.
Warnings: Violence, mainly. Instances of familial dysfunction (rejection, disownment).
Notes: I'm not one for apologia when it comes to Loki. In the canon he's a mass-murdering dick, and in this story he is certainly not always a nice person. But I do love playing with how different circumstances change people.
BETA CREDIT JESUS: [livejournal.com profile] neifile7 and [livejournal.com profile] kallaneboi fixed many things.

Here on AO3.

Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heav'n.
--Lucifer, Paradise Lost, Milton

When we are kings together, we should go hunting in Jotunheim. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: The Hired Man
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Peter Burke, ex-FBI agent, met Neal Caffrey, thief, during a bar fight. Peter was in need of a job, and Neal was in need of a bodyguard. Everything was going fine until this art-restorer named Elizabeth hired them to steal a statue...
Notes: Do I need to actually say this is an AU? This is an AU. It's based off a short AU I wrote in a post ironically titled 5 AUs Sam Didn't Write.
BETA CREDIT JESUS: [livejournal.com profile] 51stcenturyfox and [personal profile] girlpearl fixed what was broken!
Warnings: None.

Also available on AO3!

On the way to St Louis he hired a bodyguard. There were good reasons to do so....there was also a certain prestige to traveling with a hired man.
-- Titanic Thompson, The Man Who Bet On Everything

They met during a bar fight. )
sam_storyteller: (White Collar)
Title: Five White Collar AUs Sam Didn't Write
Rating: Nothing over PG
Warnings: None.
Summary: These are five AUs that could have been long fics, but aren't. One crossover, two alternate histories, and two alternate realities.
Notes: Hell with it, I don't even know how to deal with this show right now, but I had this stuff written...

Now available on AO3.

IF SOMEONE WANTED TO EXPAND ON ANY OF THESE

THAT WOULD BE FINE BY ME

Five AUs )
sam_storyteller: (White Collar)
Title: Keep Calm And Carry Crowbars
Rating: PG
Summary: Someone stole billions of dollars in art from Vincent Adler. Neal didn't do it, but he's about to find out who did.
BETA CREDIT JESUS: [livejournal.com profile] darthrami inspired and gave the first edit, and [personal profile] girlpearl, [livejournal.com profile] 51stcenturyfox, and [livejournal.com profile] neifile7 polished it up.
Notes: AU. BIG, SCREAMING AU. I in no way think this is anywhere approaching what's going to happen in canon. Inspired by a thread with [livejournal.com profile] darthrami here, but that'll spoil it if you read it first...
Warnings: None.

Also available at AO3.

There would be problems. )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Oh, What A Show
Rating: PG (Merlin/Arthur, Gwaine/Ragnell)
Summary: Circus Camelot has a building it doesn't own, a trick rider who just ran off to do panto, and a serious sponsor problem. Fortunately, it also has Merlin Emrys, master illusionist, and Arthur Pendragon, prince of tumblers.

Chapter One

Chapter Two )
sam_storyteller: (Alternate Universe)
Title: Oh, What A Show
Rating: PG (Merlin/Arthur, Gwaine/Ragnell)
Warnings: None.
Summary: Circus Camelot has a building it doesn't own, a trick rider who just ran off to do panto, and a serious sponsor problem. Fortunately, it also has Merlin Emrys, master illusionist, and Arthur Pendragon, prince of tumblers.
BETA CREDIT JESUS: [personal profile] girlpearl gave me this disorder, but at least she helped me clean up afterwards. [livejournal.com profile] neifile7 was her usual lovely grammar-and-style pickin' self.
Notes: I don't even know, you guys. I just don't know.

Also available at AO3.

Chapter One )
sam_storyteller: (White Collar)
Title: Never Leave A Trace
Summary: Neal Caffrey can steal souls. Peter Burke has two shadows. Everything's normal...except when it isn't.

Part Two

Niall, youngest son, unwanted by his father, father himself of twenty-six generations of Irish kings. )
sam_storyteller: (White Collar)
Title: Never Leave A Trace
Summary: Neal Caffrey can steal souls. Peter Burke has two shadows. Everything's normal...except when it isn't.

Part One

The guards never understood. They might ignore it, because they had to, but that didn't mean they understood it. )
sam_storyteller: (White Collar)
Title: Never Leave A Trace
Warnings: Violence; triggery language (Neal is referred to as Suicide Caffrey several times, owing to an unfortunate nickname and not any actual tendencies).
Rating: R (language, sexual content -- Peter/Neal/El established)
Summary: Neal Caffrey can steal souls. Peter Burke has two shadows. Everything's normal...except when it isn't.
Notes: I have done a reasonable amount of research on Federal Level Five ("supermax") correctional facilities, which canonically is where Neal was placed when he went to prison. The supermax we see in the show, however, correlates to Level Three ("close security") facilities, so I've used Level Three guidelines -- with some small creative license -- in writing this.
BETA CREDIT, JESUS: [livejournal.com profile] 51stcenturyfox, [livejournal.com profile] tzikeh, [personal profile] girlpearl, [livejournal.com profile] juniper200, [livejournal.com profile] neifile7. OH THE HYPHENS.

Originally Posted 10.31.10

Now available at AO3.

They said a lot of things about Neal Caffrey in prison, once he was no longer there. )
sam_storyteller: (White Collar)
Title: Somewhere I Have Never Traveled
Rating: R
Summary: In another universe, Peter Burke went corporate. He wouldn't have met Neal Caffrey -- except Neal tried to rob his company. And Peter, naturally, caught him.
Warnings: None. Spoilers through Company Man.
Beta credit, JESUS: [livejournal.com profile] tzikeh and [livejournal.com profile] spiderine and some terrible puns by [livejournal.com profile] neifile7. :D

Originally Posted 9.08.10

Now available at AO3.

Neal: In some alternate universe you'd be wearing power ties, doing power lunches, flying corporate jets...
Peter: Doubt we'd have ever met.
Neal: Maybe. Under difference circumstances.
Peter: Oh, that's true. You might've robbed the company.
-- 2.08, Company Man

I do like a nice rare steak. )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Title: The Harkness Variations
Rating: PG-13 (violence, innuendo)
Summary: Ten ways Jack's life could have been different -- some better, some worse, for him and for others.
Warnings: Character death. #10 has very, very mild CoE spoilers (translation: Not THAT character).
BETA CREDIT JESUS: [livejournal.com profile] 51stcenturyfox beta'd the hell out of this.

Originally Posted 7.25.09

Also available at AO3.

The Harkness Variations )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Title: And Yet
Rating: PG
Pairings: Ianto/Lisa, Ianto/Tosh, Ianto/Jack, Ianto/Rose
Summary: Three ways that things were; three ways that things could have been.
Spoilers: Through Fragments, 2.12.
Warnings: None.

Originally posted 3.28.08

Also available at AO3.

Lisa, it's me. )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Thanks to: [livejournal.com profile] mcgonagalls_cat and [livejournal.com profile] spiderine for betas; any remaining rough edges are my fault for not listening to them.

In Another Life, 4/7 )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Thanks to: [livejournal.com profile] spiderine and [livejournal.com profile] mcgonagalls_cat for betas.
Credits: Quotes in this fic come from "Whose Body" and "The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club" by Dorothy Sayers.

In Another Life, 3/7 )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
In this chapter, there's a visual I couldn't quite capture. When you come across it you'll see why I used this image; that is a genuine Armani blazer-jacket. I thought I might as well make a nice "book cover" for the fic as long as I was showing it off, which is fifty thousand words long and therefore almost the length of a novel.

In Another Life 2/7 )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Title: In Another Life
Summary: An all-too-human Doctor begins to build a life with Rose Tyler, but old ghosts -- both real and imagined -- still haunt him. And there's only so much human life you can live without a name...
Rating: PG-13.
Warnings: Some discussion of PTSD; extreme gore in later chapters.
Notes: Completed fic, should be posted fairly rapidly over the course of the week -- I'm just getting the later parts beta'd. Primarily Doctor Who, but also incorporating some Torchwood without any extensive knowledge of Torchwood required. Who spoilers through Journey's End; no significant Torchwood spoilers.
Thanks to: [livejournal.com profile] mcgonagalls_cat and [livejournal.com profile] spiderine for betas. Any remaining rough edges are my fault for not listening to them. :D

Originally Posted 8.19.08

Now available at AO3.

In Another Life, 1/7 )

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On Storytelling:

Fanfiction is a way of the culture repairing the damage done in a system where contemporary myths are owned by corporations instead of owned by folk.
-- Henry Jenkins

Life is very short. We die on the march. But there is nothing outside the march so nothing can be lost to it. The missing plays of Sophocles will turn up piece by piece, or be written again in another language.
-- Tom Stoppard

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
-- G. Bernard Shaw

A good story should provoke discussion, debate, argument...and the occasional bar fight.
-- J. Michael Strazynski

Here's how to become a great artist. First, get miserable. Misery drives you to become a great artist, but the art does nothing for your misery, which drives you to drugs, which makes you a lousy artist.
-- House M.D.

Humans? They're long gone. Vanished. Extinct. They only exist in stories.
-- Ferngully

Anton Chekov, who was a doctor, said, "Medicine is my wife; writing is my mistress."

Se non e vero, e ben trovato. (Even if it’s not true, it’s a good story.)
-- Italian Proverb

The recipe for becoming a good novelist is easy to give, but to carry it out presupposes qualities one is accustomed to overlook. One has only to make a hundred or so sketches for novels, none longer than two pages but of such distinctness that every word in them is necessary. One should write down anecdotes every day until one has learnt how to give them the most pregnant and effective form; one should be tireless in collecting and describing human types and characters; one should above all relate things to others and listen to others relate, keeping one's eyes and ears open for the effect produced on those present, one should travel like a landscape painter or costume designer. One should, finally, reflect on the motives of human actions, disdain no signpost for instruction about them and be a collector of these things by day and night. One should continue in this many-sided exercise for some ten years; what is then created in the workshop will be fit to go out into the world.
-- Nietzsche

The thief. Once committed beyond a certain point he should not worry himself too much. Thieving is God's message to him. Let him try and be a good thief.
-- Samuel Butler

What is written without effort is generally read without pleasure.
-- Samuel Johnson

Same story, different versions, and all are true.
-- POTC: Dead Man's Chest

I am a humble artist
moulding my earthly clod,
adding my labour to nature's,
simply assisting God.
-- Piet Hein

Every archaeologist knows in his heart why he digs. He digs, in pity and humility, that the dead may live again, that what is past may not be forever lost, that something may be salvaged from the wrack of the ages.
-- From "The Testimony of the Spade"

Reading maketh a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man.
-- Francis Bacon

It is better, of course, to know useless things than to know nothing.
-- Seneca epistles 88 45

When asked how she acquired her knowledge of science, Octavia Butler replied, "I read."

Imagination is more important than information.
-- Albert Einstein

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