sam_storyteller: (Torchwood)
sam_storyteller ([personal profile] sam_storyteller) wrote2012-08-28 10:09 am

Avengers/Torchwood: Handler

Title: Handler
Rating: PG
Summary: There are some staff changes going on at SHIELD.
Warnings: None.

Also here on AO3 and here in Russian!

[livejournal.com profile] reena_jenkins has done a podfic of this fic!

***

"You need a new handler," Fury told them, when they’d regrouped and recovered from the battle.

"Don’t want one," Tony said.

There was a moment of silence. Fury looked at Cap.

"I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Stark speaks for me," he said, crossing his arms.

"Someone has to be responsible for you until Coulson's back on his feet," Fury replied. "I’m not talking about braiding your hair or coddling your delicate diva superhero feelings. Someone has to be your SHIELD point of contact, manage your PR and requisitions, and liaise with the city regarding the billions of dollars in damage you just did."

"JARVIS can do that," Tony said.

"You need a public face."

Tony pointed to his face. "Already public."

"You really want to do all the meet and greets? You want to be the one people call when they need stock photos for news articles? You want to — "

"Okay," Clint said quietly. Everyone looked at him. "We get it. So find us someone and tell him to call us if the world’s ending."

"Already found. He will be contacting you as and when necessary, and the six of you are going to take it and like it," Fury replied. "Stark, one more word out of you and I will rip your goatee off, my hand to god."

Tony, who had been opening his mouth, involuntarily raised a hand to cover his chin. The goatee took a lot of work.

"We’ve imported someone from outside the organization to cover things in the short term. If he works out, we’ll discuss long term. He has extensive logistical experience and you will obey him," Fury continued. He gestured to one of the uniformed SHIELD agents standing in the background, and she opened a door and put her head in. "Gentlemen, lady, Stark — "

"Oh nice!"

" — meet Agent Ianto Jones, formerly of Torchwood."

The kid was young, baby-faced and pale, wearing the requisite bland suit and tie. He gave them a brief, perfunctory smile.

"Good morning," he said. "A pleasure to meet you all."

"Okay, he’s twelve years old and Welsh," Tony said.

"And yet I’m in charge of you," Ianto Jones replied pleasantly. "Sit down, Mr. Stark, before I declassify file A12."

Tony sat abruptly.

"What’s file A12?" Steve asked.

"Shut up and sit down," Tony hissed. "How did you even find that?"

"I was an archivist in a former life. I have ways. Captain Rogers, I was asked to give you Captain Harkness’s regards."

Steve sat down so quickly the chair crunched.

"Now then, Director Fury, agents," Jones said. "If you’ll clear the room — "

"Excuse me?" Fury asked.

"I need to debrief my team, sir. Please clear the room. I am also aware of file 327-apple-AR," he added. Fury glared, but he pointed at Stark, pointed at his eye, and then left the room as well.

"In my previous position," Jones said, "I was logistical support for a team of four people including a time-traveling sexual harassment suit waiting to happen, an extremely angry man with medical training, a technological savant, and a very mouthy police officer. Our office was located on a rift in space and time. Aliens were, in fact, our specialty. So the six of you, I have to say, should not be that difficult. Shall we begin with after action reports?"

greyeyes: (cap & ironman by pentapus)

[personal profile] greyeyes 2012-08-29 05:01 am (UTC)(link)
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! \o/\o/\o/\o/
sammydragoncat: (Default)

[personal profile] sammydragoncat 2012-08-29 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
OMG - I Loved this!!! Please, please, please write more.
chrismm: Me, singing (Default)

[personal profile] chrismm 2012-08-29 05:37 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, this is a delight. Thank you! This is greedy of me, but now I want a whole fandom of this. <3
sporky_rat: Antique travel poster for Star Wars planets. Text: BESPIN (Bespin)

[personal profile] sporky_rat 2012-08-29 01:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, Sam. Ianto is perfect at this.

(Anonymous) 2012-08-29 01:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Lol! Please continue with this!

I love the photo!

Ianto and Coulson

(Anonymous) 2012-08-29 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Would you consider writing Ianto and Coulson running SHIELD together? They would totally have all the superheroes under their thumbs.

I am not really in the Avengers fandom, but if you continued in this Avengers/Ianto AU, I'm afraid I might get sucked into it.

-- Aluna
ambersweet: We have no choice but to ROCK OPERATE. (ROCK OPERATE)

[personal profile] ambersweet 2012-08-29 02:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Hahahahaha omg that was amazing. I could get over Phil being actually dead (though I'm glad he's not) if Ianto replaced him. It would probably take counseling. BUT I COULD DO IT.
sanura: (Default)

[personal profile] sanura 2012-08-29 02:30 pm (UTC)(link)
SO THIS IS STILL AMAZING

Though I'm slightly curious about why Ianto would bend to SHIELDy pressure and wear the requisite *bland* suit and tie when his TW suit repertoire ran more the the outrageous.

(no subject)

[personal profile] sanura - 2012-08-29 14:54 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2012-08-29 02:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh my god, I want to know more about why Jack is sending Steve his regards. Just imagining the two of them in the same room is AMAZING

(no subject)

[personal profile] ellid - 2012-09-02 11:36 (UTC) - Expand
lelann137: (Sherlock BBC - violin)

[personal profile] lelann137 2012-08-29 05:50 pm (UTC)(link)
this is just fantastic! Ianto would be perfect. thanks for sharing

[personal profile] janiemc 2012-08-29 07:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Please please tell me there will be more, I giggled through the whole piece
whitefoxkitten: (couch time)

[personal profile] whitefoxkitten 2012-08-29 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)
kabal42: Tony Stark and Bruce Banner w. the text Nerdgasm (Comics - Avengers - Nerdgasm Tony&Bruce)

[personal profile] kabal42 2012-08-29 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Perfect *G* Love that Tony is so protective of his beard ;-) And gosh, the files and greeting. Ianto, you sly, clever bastard. You rock.
elaiel: monty the cat (Default)

[personal profile] elaiel 2012-08-30 12:13 am (UTC)(link)
This is 100% awesome, I honestly didn't expect it, but I can't think of anyone better for the job!
acroamatica: (Default)

[personal profile] acroamatica 2012-08-30 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
I just got a new reception job and I am making Ianto my spirit animal. This was exactly the mental image I needed to remind me why I wanted to go into admin in the first place. Thank you for a splendid ficlet and even more splendid timing. :D

(no subject)

[personal profile] acroamatica - 2012-08-31 09:43 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2012-08-30 03:50 pm (UTC)(link)
You, sir, are an absolute legend :D Aha, this is wonderful.

Sadera992
xiorlanth: (Default)

[personal profile] xiorlanth 2012-08-30 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)
The kid was young, baby-faced and pale, wearing the requisite bland suit and tie.

Oh, no. No way. Ianto does not abandon his hot pink awesomeness. Is he

  1. hacking his way onto the official SHIELD dresscode, which is way too well protected after a certain debacle that will never be mentioned again?

  2. secretly plotting to get Tony/Clint/Loki to dye his (and everybody else') clothing pink?

  3. saves the shirts and ties on days he just wanted to see the world burn Fury's eye twitches?



Still giggling this many hours after first reading it :)
nikkiagent: (Default)

[personal profile] nikkiagent 2012-08-30 06:43 pm (UTC)(link)
*dies of awesome and is dead*

Oh brilliant brilliant perfect Ianto.

Of course Captain Harness knows Captain America.

Brilliant awesome, perfect voices.
tree00faery: (Default)

[personal profile] tree00faery 2012-08-31 12:23 pm (UTC)(link)
<3

Headcannon now.
wordfear: when fridge magnets attack (Default)

[personal profile] wordfear 2012-08-31 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
SO MUCH LOVE!!!!!

I love that Ianto bosses everyone around impartially. Also, I feel Jack would be bound to drop in at some point and then my brain explodes. *grin*
jeeps: (Default)

[personal profile] jeeps 2012-09-02 05:47 am (UTC)(link)
SOLD!
ponderosa: Tom Payne in a dark coat tugging on a thin scarf or tie around his neck (dw - tardis)

[personal profile] ponderosa 2012-09-03 06:46 pm (UTC)(link)
As usual, you are best ever. :D Yay, Ianto!
wishfulaces: (smug but lovely)

[personal profile] wishfulaces 2012-09-07 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
Archivists: knowing where the bodies are buried is their specialty. ;D

Love this!

[personal profile] nomdeploom 2012-10-12 07:29 am (UTC)(link)
That made me squeal with blind joy. Ianto Jones, ladies and gentlemen. Also, dear god the image of Captain America and Captain Jack....even if they just _knew_ each other. I...

Yes.

(no subject)

[personal profile] nomdeploom - 2012-10-13 17:19 (UTC) - Expand
bead: (Default)

[personal profile] bead 2012-12-21 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
OMG YES! PLEASE.

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