The Temporal Gourmet

[sam_storyteller]

Title: The Temporal Gourmet (Index)
Rating: PG
Warnings: None.
Summary: Produced by the Ladies and Gentlemen of the Companion Auxiliary Board, Price 3 Credits.

Originally Posted 7.17.10

Also available at AO3.

Click to enlarge.





A word of explanation: This past week my mother sent me my gran's recipe for Canadian Butter Tarts. I was expecting a scan of a handwritten or typed index card, but instead she sent me a scan of a page from an Eastern Star cookbook to which my gran had contributed in 1956. These little cookbooks are ubiquitous in Eastern Star and certain religious groups: assembled from recipes contributed by their members, laboriously typeset and bound with plastic comb-binding, they were often sold as fundraisers by the Women's Church Board or similar organisations. Sometimes the recipes are terrifying -- there are usually a lot of Jello Salads and Casseroles.

I think the Doctor probably has a whole collection of them in the library.

Comments

[lefaym]

So... are you now going to write fic about Ianto receiving all these intergalactic visitors who want to know how to make coffee? :P

[sam_storyteller]

I figure he gets one or two a month. Torchwood brings them a coffee, asks them where they're headed, and sends them on their way. Of course, they have to be clever to find Page Infinity...

[coriana]

I WANT THIS COOKBOOK!

I lost my ability to hold in my laughter 'long about page ix.

~ c.

[patelyne]

I would LOVE to own this cookbook, even if the page numbering would be impossible to figure out :D

Thanks for the happy making before I had to head to work. I just keep looking back up and smiling all over again.

[sam_storyteller]

The page numbering is very Wibbly Wobbly. :D

[amand_r]

I collect those cookbooks, man. Pentecostals LOVE them.

[sam_storyteller]

FIRE, BRIMSTONE, AND DEVILED CHICKEN!

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, goodness, I'm from Texas, the Ladies Auxiliary of every Baptist church in Texas does one of these every few years. I've a bit of a collection and while heavy on Jello Salads and Casseroles (and down here Chili), with a sprinkling of truly terrifying recipes, I will say without question the desert section is generally to die for. The cookies and quick bread recipes alone are generally well worth the price of the book.

lorrainemarker@yahoo.com

[sam_storyteller]

Yeah, the desserts are usually worth the whole rest of the book :D No argument here.

[beathen]

Satsumas are important in the meaning of life... :)

/geeky

[sam_storyteller]

HAH I AM SO GLAD PEOPLE CAUGHT THAT.

[fruiter]

This is EXTREMELY FUNNY. I have read and reread these two pages more than once because I was afraid I had somehow missed something -- I completely lost it at the fifty-something entries dedicated to TEAS. I love tea! And also the :) and :( and :O under SIDES. AWESOME.

[sam_storyteller]

Tea is important! Tea is vital. :D

[melayneseahawk]

Hee. I love the page numbers.

[sam_storyteller]

Wibbly wobbly, numbery wumbery...:D

[julesjones]

Now that I've finished laughing, I want to see Ianto's reaction when he's tidying Jack's office, and finds this.

[supergreak]

THIS.
Someone must write this.

[dremiel]

Oh, Sam!

Now you need to work on the index!!!

[lorena]

hee

[51stcenturyfox]

The *vegetables* part was extra . :D

Great font and everything, too!

[sam_storyteller]

Nobody actually likes vegetables, it's a universal law!

[beatrice_otter]

I have two of those: one from the church my Dad grew up in, one from our local Sons of Norway cookbook.

[sam_storyteller]

I bet there's some cracking smoked fish recipes in the Sons of Norway cookbook :D

[quean_of_swords]

LOL! Is there more? There should be more. ^_^ At least Jack-related more.

[jusmine]

*dies*

I kind of lost it about the Vegetable part - which I agree with completely. How to avoid them, indeed!

And the coffee. (Ianto has to teach aliens about coffee?! Yay!)

And the beans.

And the desert.

I want this cookbook!!!

[sqyd.livejournal.com]

I think I saw this cookbook at the last flea market I went to.

I too would like to read the story of Ianto finding it on Jack's desk.

[yan-tan-tether.livejournal.com]

I love this! Wonderfully smile inducing.

[fenellaevangela]

This was quite amusing. The page "numbers" were a very nice touch!

[seneska.livejournal.com]

I can't decide if I love the chapters or the page numbers more :D

[marginaliana]

Very excellent. I especially liked the "To Serve Man" reference!

[azurelunatic]

Ditto!

[cleverthylacine]

Oh G-d. Those cookbooks were a terrifying feature of my childhood. (I was born in 1964, and my mother is an atrocious cook. I have no doubt that your gran's recipe is lovely, but o.m.g. the horrors contained in some of those books would scare Cthulhu back to R'lyeh.

[cleverthylacine]

Also, this is cute, I can't believe I forgot to say so! It amused me deeply.

[annotated_em]

*deeply entertained* I love those cookbooks. Yeah, some of the recipes are utterly terrifying, this is true, but generally the desserts section (which is, like, double the length of any other section) is a goldmine of deliciousness.

[sam_storyteller]

Yeah, the desserts are usually good :D My gran's recipe (typical of her) ends with "They melt in your mouth but will make you fat. Haven't found a way to get the calories out of them!"

[tree_and_leaf]

Hee, this is brilliant!

[tardis-stowaway.livejournal.com]

Hee! Clever. I love the number of pages about tea and the "reasons Jack Harkness is not allowed to edit this anymore."

[sam_storyteller]

I just realised that should totally have been on page 69. :D

[supergreak]

I know those cookbooks! I've a lot that belonged to mum and gran and various great aunts. I will get the family curry recipe(which is far better than my attempts) in one eventually. Probably when I get married or get a masters.


I love that there are 26 pages about tea, and that the listing of Coffee was "Ianto Jones".

Also, Jack soooo belongs on page 57. I wonder what the recipe says...