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sam_storyteller) wrote2005-07-17 11:35 am
sam_storyteller) wrote2005-07-17 11:35 am
Entry tags:
Edgar van Scyoc Presents: Doctor Who; Chapter 6
Title: Edgar van Scyoc Presents: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13 (mainly for language)
Summary: With the Torchwood and Doctor Who seasons drawing to a close, we find Torchwood crossing dimensions and picking up stray physicists, while the Doctor, Rose, and Ross battle fire monsters in ancient Pompeii. Tosh has some new information to consider after meeting an alternate-universe Owen, and Professor Arthur Yana may be more than he appears...
Chapter Six
TORCHWOOD 2x18: THE UNTOUCHABLES
An early-morning earthquake in Chicago leaves everyone unsettled but unharmed -- except for Torchwood's beloved Hub, which has lost power and cameras on a major subsection. The team investigate together, but when they return topside they find doubles of themselves already there. Can their parallel-world selves get them back home before the rift inside the Hub closes? One man may hold the key -- Professor Yana (played by Derek Jacobi), a brilliant physicist who died in Torchwood's timeline but lives on in this parallel world.
Tosh was the first one back to the atrium sublevel after the investigation; Tommy was staying down to work on the wiring, Owen and Ian had uncovered some kind of fungi growing on the Hub walls and were taking samples for analysis, and Jack and Gwen were inspecting the minor earthquake damage to the gun room. Someone had to monitor the Rift and truth be told Tosh didn't mind much; the Hub was sort of...nice, when it was empty.
She was halfway to her desk when a soft beeping noise from Ian's computer station stopped her; curious, she leaned in to study the readout below the anomaly-alert.
Which was when something cold and round pressed against the back of her head, and there was the click of a trigger-hammer being drawn back.
"Don't move," said a voice.
Ian's voice.
Tosh went very still.
"Hands up," he continued. She raised her hands.
"Ian -- " she started, and there was a slight shove against her head.
"I don't know who you are," Ian said, and she could hear him stepping backwards -- good boy, always keep some distance between the gun and your prisoner -- "but you picked the wrong woman to impersonate."
Tosh didn't turn around. "Ian, it's me. Tosh."
"Toshiko Sato is dead. Turn around."
Tosh turned and blinked -- she was sure Ian had been wearing a grey suit with a white shirt that morning, not a black suit with a pink shirt.
"Show yourself," Ian said.
Tosh was opening her mouth to protest when she looked past Ian and saw...
Ian, entering through the corridor to the lower levels. The man holding the gun on her looked to the side just as Ian -- her Ian -- drew his sidearm and fixed it on him.
"Drop the gun!" they shouted in unison.
"Ian?" Tosh asked.
"You all right, Tosh?"
"JACK!" the Ian in front of her shouted.
"What, I'm right -- Ian?" Jack asked, appearing next to the Ian in the entryway.
"Jack?" pink-shirt-Ian asked.
"Ian?" someone called from the balcony.
"Jack!" pink-shirt-Ian called back.
Jack -- another Jack -- was standing on the balcony. "Tosh?" he asked, incredulous.
"Jack," Tosh's Ian said quietly, nodding at the other Jack.
"Jack, I don't -- whoa," Owen said, appearing behind Ian in the corridor. "Uh, Ian?"
"Owen?" the Ian in front of her demanded.
Owen waved. "Hi."
"Ladies, gentlemen," a voice boomed over the speakers. "Let's all put the guns down, all right?"
"Owen..." the Jack on the balcony called to the air.
"Working on it, Jack," the voice answered.
"Captain Harkness," Tosh's Jack called, from the doorway. "We've got two more people coming. Temporary truce? I'd rather they weren't shot accidentally."
"Captain Harkness," the other Jack replied. "Mind if we disarm you?"
"Let's get Tosh out of the crossfire first," Jack said. The other Jack nodded to the Ian in front of her, who eased the safety on and holstered the gun. "Thank you," he added.
"Sir," Ian said.
"Okay, rule one," the Jack on the balcony said. "Nobody touch anybody else. I'm not having a hole ripped in the wall between universes. Who else do you have coming, Captain?"
"Gwen and Tommy," Jack answered.
"We've got a Gwen running around too -- "
"Got her," Owen's voice over the speakers.
"Is that how I sounded?" Owen asked Ian.
"No, you had more attitude," Ian replied.
"I've located two Gwens, one coming from the firing range, one coming down in the elevator. I'm assuming ours is in the elevator. And...there we are...Tommy Sato is behind you," Owen continued. The little gang in the entryway turned.
"Are we standing in the doorway for a holy crap," Tommy said, catching sight of Ian standing near Tosh. He glanced at the Ian standing next to him.
"Cloning machine?" he asked. Ian cast his eyes over to where the second Jack was standing. "Cloning machine run amok?"
The other Jack sauntered over, hands in his pockets, and Tosh stood still as she watched Ian locate a tray and follow him.
The two Captain Harknesses studied each other for a good solid minute.
"So, I'm thinking, the earthquake this morning?" one of them said.
"Did you lose cameras in the sublevels?"
"No, we had no damage."
"Gentlemen," the other Ian said. "Weapons, please."
He held out the tray. Tosh fought hysterical giggles as her Ian eyed the other one.
"You're a dick in every universe," Owen said to Ian, placing his sidearm on the tray. Tommy followed suit.
"Apparently, so am I," said the speakers, as Jack placed his weapon on the tray without breaking his staring-contest with himself.
"Somebody run back and get Gwen," Jack said finally, glancing at Tommy. "Let her know we're having some staffing issues and would appreciate her presence."
"Holy mother of god," said a new voice. The other Jack stiffened.
"And that'll be our Gwen," he sighed. "All right, everyone in the conference room. Ian -- "
"Yes?" both Ians said in unison. Tosh's Jack looked slightly betrayed.
"O...kay. Uh. Everyone but Ian and...Ian, conference room. You two, coffee, and...have a...chat or something," Jack said. "Remember, no touching."
Ian looked to Jack for permission before following his double to the coffee machine.
"After you," the other Jack said, gesturing for Jack to precede him.
Tommy grabbed her hand and held it tightly as they went up the stairs to the conference room.
***
Transcript from the Torchwood Season Two DVD Extras: Cut Scene, "Ian And Ian":
Two Ians are standing in front of the coffee machine, looking contemplative. Ian #1, our Ian, has his hands in his pockets. Ian #2, the parallel-world Ian, straightens his tie.
Ian #1: So.
Ian #2: They're all going to be freaking out up there.
Ian #1: Are you freaking out?
Ian #2: Not as much as I thought I would.
Ian #1: Me neither.
Ian #2: Jack's going to suggest a threesome.
Ian #1: Probably a foursome.
Ian #2: Are you thinking lattes, maybe?
Ian #1: I was thinking, with cinnamon.
Ian #2: I have some banana bread we could bring up.
Ian #1: Tosh is allergic to bananas.
Ian #2: Oh. That's right.
Ian #1: Your Tosh is dead, isn't she.
Ian #2: Tosh and Tommy.
There is a long pause.
Ian #1: I'll make the coffee. You steam the milk.
***
When Owen had been a part of the Hub, once in a while he used to pop things up on Tosh's computer screens -- nothing invasive, Jack had made him promise not to access anyone's private files, but just little message windows to say hello, or funny images he'd picked up trawling through the internet with some of his spare processing speed. She hadn't really ever thought about whether he'd done the same for the rest of the team -- Gwen, probably, and maybe Tommy -- but it was sad and a little bittersweet that the Owen in this world still did it.
The grey text-chat box on the borrowed computer she was using read Knock knock.
She smiled and typed a reply. Who's there?
I actually don't have a joke, Owen answered.
All that processing speed and none of it reserved for puerile humor?
Bonus points for good use of the word puerile, Owen said. Listen, Tosh, I need to tell you something.
Fire away. I'm not working on anything important like getting us home before we're stuck here forever.
I know, I know. Another window popped up on her screen; CCTV live-feed of Owen, doing a physical inspection of the morgue. Here's the thing. I never got the chance to tell you when you were alive, the you from this world. Which, tactless opening.
Just a little, she typed.
And then I got stuck in the Hub. He's checking me out, by the way, Owen added, as the Owen on the screen peered into a cryo unit. So what was the point? But here's the thing, Tosh, and I know it's true for him too because I know myself. I'm in love with you. Or, he is.
Tosh stared at the screen, blood rushing to her face.
That's not funny, Owen.
I'm not laughing. He'll never tell you, but I haven't got anything to lose. When you go you'll be dead, again. So I might as well make sure that you know in at least one universe. I chickened out enough when you were alive, and this time he can't even blame himself if you know. So, there you are. I'm in love with you. I have been for years.
"Tosh!" Jack called -- she wasn't sure which one. "How are those calculations coming?"
"Almost done," she called back, minimizing the CCTV window hastily.
"Come on, Tosh, pick it up," Owen said, emerging from the morgue. "Slacker."
He grinned teasingly, like he always did; Tosh managed a weak smile in return, and bent to her calculations. Math was predictable and reassuring, and usually Owen was too.
While the program compiled, she glanced at him under pretense of checking her notes. He was bickering with both Ians at once, a feat only Owen could pull off. He must have caught her looking out of the corner of his eye; he turned to her, dropped her a wink, and went back to harassing the Ians.
Eventually, however, even Ian got bored and wandered off; Owen came to sit next to her, studying the scrolling numbers on the screen, feet propped up on her desk.
"You know, I think of them as Our Jack and Their Jack, Our Gwen and Their Gwen, and there's Me and Other Me, but both Ians are just Ian. It's like he's totally interchangeable. Is that weird?"
"Yes," she answered absently.
"Well, call me weird then."
When she didn't reply, he poked her. "Tosh. You didn't call me weird."
"Hm?" she asked.
"Are you all right, Tosh?"
"Yes, I'm fine -- " she bit her lip. "You're distracting me, Owen."
"That's what I do," he agreed.
"Go -- get me some tea or something."
"Get your own tea."
Tosh rested her head against the monitor's casing. A little window popped up.
I never said I was easy, Owen said. She closed it.
"Owen, please get me some tea," she said quietly.
Owen swung his feet down and stood up, squeezing her shoulder as he passed. "Genius in any world," he called back. "You'll get it!"
If it's any consolation, I'm almost certain that I'm worth it, Owen said apologetically.
Before she could reply, the rolldoor alarms went off and everyone looked up; when the cage opened an elderly man wandered through, his nose in a large binder, apparently oblivious to his surroundings.
"Jack, I've been looking over these figures and I really can't -- " he said, before he looked up and realized anything was wrong. Tosh saw Jack's jaw drop. She thought it was her Jack, but it was hard to be sure.
"Professor, I've told you about wandering in unannounced," the other Jack said sternly.
"Well, then you shouldn't have given me a key," the Professor said cheerfully. He turned to Tosh and smiled. "Good afternoon, miss. Professor Arthur Yana -- "
"Don't touch her!" Jack barked. The other Jack was still staring.
"Arthur?" he asked, moving forward. The Professor took in the pair of Jacks and frowned.
"Well, this can't be good," he said.
"Professor -- " Jack held up a hand and then stopped himself short. He turned to his counterpart. "You brought him here?"
"Tosh and Tommy were dead," the other man said. "I needed someone brilliant. I didn't have a choice. You look like -- "
"He's dead in my timeline," Jack said, turning back to the Professor. "Dead fifteen years and more. I really want to hug you right now."
"You know him, Jack?" Tosh heard herself ask. Jack was still staring longingly at the Professor.
"Oh yes," he said quietly.
***
From the Torchwood Quotes File, part of The Unofficial Torchwood Fansite:
Yana: It's been common belief for a long time that when parallel worlds are formed it's because of some branching that took place at a particular point -- for example, in one world Toshiko Sato lives, in another she dies. But it's more than that. Little tiny fissures are always appearing in time. Why did Toshiko Sato live in one world and die in another? What happened previous to that to bring it about? My death in your world is obviously not enough to have branched it significantly; to your timeline, you and your brother's deaths are what actually created the fracture. But I died fifteen years before that, so clearly the small differences have been creeping in for some time. It's not true that parallel worlds exist for every second and every decision. They only have the potential to exist. To step through from one into the next, there has to have been a fairly significant branch, with a lot of small changes leading up to it. Your death and your brother's death, in this world, are what allow it -- and thus me -- to exist.
Jack: Arthur Yana is one of the great minds of humanity. In any century.
Ian: His death must have had more effect, then. Things must be pretty significantly different in this world.
Jack: His genius was in his ability to teach, really. I imagine...his students carried on his work competently. They would have been able to follow his footsteps; he was that kind of man. He could make you feel smarter than you were, faster, he made you work harder.
Ian: Were you in love with him?
Jack: Ever had a crush on a teacher?
Ian: [looking at Jack significantly] Yes.
***
Because Torchwood could never do anything by halves, especially when they were doubled-up, the race to build a stabilizer for the interdimensional rift fissure came down to the final minutes; Jack wasn't sure he was going to be able to get his people home, and the thought filled him with panic. Seeing himself in another world was hard enough, but having to abandon Torchwood because another him had already laid claim to it...he could look after Tosh and Tommy, Owen and Gwen and Ian, but they would never fully belong in this world.
The sense of relief he felt as he stepped through the Rift, back into his own world, was almost physical. It must have been intense for Owen; he came through leaning heavily on Tommy's shoulder, and Ian caught him before he could fall down. Gwen looked shaken and exhausted; Tosh, who has been oddly abstracted practically since they'd arrived, allowed Ian to help her to a chair and bring her a glass of water.
"Rift closing," Jack called out, watching the undulating light collapsing in on itself. "We'll be sealed off back again in three...two...one..."
There was a violent flash of light as the hole between worlds shut down, but just before it closed another shape came hurtling through, landing hard and rolling to pull his legs through at the last possible moment. There was the smell of singed wool as the figure sat up, coughed, and began to dust himself off.
"Well," said Professor Yana. "That was exciting, wasn't it?"
Jack stared. "Arthur -- "
"Yes, I know, I know, but it's perfectly safe," the Professor said, hoisting himself up. Tommy grabbed one of his elbows without thinking and helped haul him to his feet. "See? The hole's sealed."
"Yeah, with you on the wrong side of it!" Jack replied.
"Nonsense. I know I'm dead in this world; I was bored of the other one." The Professor beamed at them. "Why not try a new one?"
"Why not..." Ian echoed incredulously.
"Well, certainly. How could I pass up the chance to explore an entirely new universe? I'm an old man, most of my friends were dead, I had no reason to stay. This is something new!" the Professor looked around him in excitement.
"But..." Jack couldn't think of a good argument, which was really annoying. Arthur came forward and Jack realised that finally, finally he could touch him. He threw his arms around him and let Yana laugh into his shoulder, rub his back reassuringly.
"There's a little of the devil in me, you know," he said, stepping back to straighten Jack's collar. Jack glanced at Ian, who was looking annoyed. "You know the old saw, Jack. I cannot rest from travel; I will drink life to the lees..."
Jack rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Talking of," he said with a sigh, "Ian?"
"Coffee," Ian said, hurrying off. The Professor reached into his pocket and took out an antique watch, glancing at Jack.
"You were buried with that," Jack said pointedly.
"Well, it's a good thing I've brought this one, then. What time is it? Locally?"
"Five in the evening," Tosh replied, and then giggled. "In this version of reality, anyway..."
Her laughter was infectious; Owen started next and then it jumped to Tommy and Gwen, so that by the time Ian returned with a carafe of coffee even Jack was chuckling.
"All right, Ulysses," he said, clapping the Professor on the shoulder. "We'll find you someplace to stay for tonight."
"Lead on, Telemachus," the Professor said cheerfully.
***
Transcript from the Season Two DVD Extras: Cut Scene, "Tennyson Recital":
Professor Yana is standing on the Plaza, staring up at the Picasso sculpture. Jack is leaning on a pillar nearby.
Yana: There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail:
There gloom the dark broad seas. My mariners,
Souls that have toil'd, and wrought, and thought with me —
That ever with a frolic welcome took
The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed
Free hearts, free foreheads —
Jack: you and I are old;
Old age hath yet his honour and his toil;
Death closes all: but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.
Yana: It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew
Jack and Yana in unison: Tho' much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
***
torchwood_el special post-episode edition for The Untouchables:
Discussion and Meta:
torchwoodians has a shot-by-shot interpretation of Tosh's reaction to Owen
poisonivy29 is outraged at Owen's behavior
kinkocopier can't stop laughing at Ian
copperbadge has a macro reinterpretation of the episode
Episode coda fanfic:
THE EDUCATION OF CAPTAIN JACK by kid_sato | (Jack/Yana one-sided, PG) | Summary: Jack gets schooled.
CONSIDERATIONS by toshs_gfriend | (Tosh, Owen, PG) | Summary: Tosh works through what she thinks and feels about Owen.
FALL IN by moby_kick | (Tosh/Owen, R) | Summary: "You told me you loved me." "No I didn't." "The other you."
PAIR OF JACKS by mmk_mmk | (Jack/Ian/Jack, NC-17) | Summary: Jack, the universal constant, discovered he could touch others without ripping a hole in space. After which, he did what came naturally.
ARTHUR'S KNIGHT by vanscyocfan | (Jack/Yana, R) | Summary: What do you do when your decades-dead lover is suddenly alive again? Featuring flashback!Jack and young!Professor!Yana.
POUR OUT A FORTY by jekyllpark | (Tosh/Owen, Tommy, Ian, Gwen) | Summary: Tosh and Tommy visit their own graves and Ian always has the appropriate equipment for any job, even an impromptu memorial service. (Comedy, no angst)
General Fanfic:
AMPERSAND by hija_paloma | (Edgar van Scyoc/Ellis Graveworthy, PG-13) | Summary: Somehow, Edgar realized, he'd stopped seeing Ellis as his head writer and started seeing him as his boyfriend long before he even entertained the idea of kissing him.
***
"Oh, my god," Edgar said.
"What? What's happened?" Ellis looked up from the latest draft of the script, across the room to where Edgar was wasting time on the internet.
"I'm reading the reactions to the show," Edgar said.
"Have they any idea about Yana?"
"A few people think he's evil. That's not the point."
"All right, what's got you twisted up?"
"Did you know they were writing porn about us?" Edgar demanded.
Ellis looked at his stricken face, still staring at the computer screen in front of him, and burst into laughter.
"You knew!" Edgar accused.
"Yes, dear man, I knew. I find it flattering that they think so highly of my prowess, but on the other hand I'm quite certain that you are not that flexible."
"Oh my god, Ellis!"
"That's not the worst part."
"There's worse?"
"You've not stumbled across the stories about David and John, yet, have you."
"David Tennant and John Barrowman?"
"Told you there was worse."
"The world would end!"
***
DOCTOR WHO 1x18: FIRES OF POMPEII
It's Rose's turn to choose where they travel, and her selection is Rose all over: the Roman Empire at the height of its decadent rise. When they end up in Pompeii, however, on the day before a volcanic eruption that will destroy the city, Rose and Ross must face up to the fact that they can't change history -- and the Doctor must make a decision between his principles as a Time Lord and his feelings as a man.
TORCHWOOD 2x19: A GREATER UNDERSTANDING
Torchwood's agents are slowly adjusting to a new presence among their numbers: Professor Yana, who has a passion for exploration and a genius for intuitive deduction. Some of his experiments with the Torchwood supercomputer and Owen's consciousness in it, however, make Owen and Tosh extremely nervous. Distracted by her own doubts about Owen, Tosh isn't sure whether either of them are seeing things clearly, but when the Professor begins to revive some of his old theorems and test them at the Hub, they have to find a way to make Jack believe them -- before Professor Yana destroys them all.
Excerpt from the shooting script for Episode 2x19: A Greater Understanding
Story by: Edgar van Scyoc
Teleplay by: Ellis Graveworthy
Directed by: Edgar van Scyoc
INT - HUB - AFTERNOON
IAN is tidying up his desk, obviously preparing to leave. GWEN approaches with a coffee mug and places it in the sink.
IAN
Thanks. Are you knocking off?
GWEN
Unless you think I'll be needed.
IAN
Rift seems quiet, and Tosh said she'd keep an eye on it this evening. Keep your cell handy, but I think you can sneak away.
GWEN
Jack said he had plans tonight -- are you going home too?
IAN
I think I'm the plans. It's good to get him out of the Hub once in a while.
GWEN
Oh, is that all it is.
IAN
Well, it's part of a system Jack has.
GWEN
Feeding you up?
IAN
Proving his monogamy.
GWEN
[chokes on her coffee]
What?
IAN
[resigned]
He said he knew I didn't like the Professor, and I asked if there was a reason, and he said he could be monogamous, and I said I was sure he could try, and he said he'd done it before and we got into it and it ended with the System.
GWEN
The System to prove he can commit to one person.
IAN
Which apparently involves feeding me, mostly. Not that I'm going to say no to dinner at the Grand Lux.
GWEN
I'm not sure I see the link.
IAN
That's because there isn't one. It's just hard to prove a negative. So...food. For Jack, it's a reasonably acceptable leap of logic.
GWEN
Does he think you don't trust him?
IAN
I...I'm not sure I trust his attempts to change his personality, if that's what it is. I don't want that. I don't know what he thinks. A lot of the time. Most of the time. If not all.
[pause]
I'm a very confused person, in fact.
GWEN
If he asked you to marry him today, what would you do?
IAN
Weep and flee, probably.
GWEN
It's not just Jack's problem, huh?
IAN
Nope. We'll get there, one way or another. Or I'll die first.
Gwen
Ian!
IAN
Practical consideration, Gwen.
GWEN
All this brought on by the Professor.
IAN
I don't have any reason not to like him. It's just a gut instinct. And I'm trying to ignore it.
GWEN
You have plenty of reasons not to like him.
IAN
Well, share 'em, then. I could use some concrete facts to back up my baser instincts.
GWEN
He crossed worlds when he knew the problems it might cause. We don't know anything about him except that Jack trusts him, but Jack doesn't know what's happened to him in the last fifteen years. He remembers things that never happened.
[beat]
And you saw the way Jack looked at him the first time.
IAN
Yes. I did. But technically the Professor has prior claim.
GWEN
Jack's not a country you plant your flag in, Ian.
[IAN gives her a filthy grin]
You know what I meant.
IAN
Yeah. Anyway --
JACK
IAN!
IAN
[dry]
His Master's Voice.
[To GWEN's surprise, he hugs her]
I'll see you tomorrow.
JACK appears in the doorway, grinning.
JACK
Ready?
IAN
Always.
JACK winks at GWEN as IAN pulls his coat on. They exit together, JACK casually slipping his arm around IAN's waist.
GWEN turns back to the Hub to see PROFESSOR YANA watching her. He quickly looks down at a readout in front of him.
***
"So," Ellis said, sitting down at the picnic table laden with sandwiches filched from the Craft Services table, "you were right."
"I'm always right," Burn said with a grin. "What was I right about?"
"Owen and Tosh in the new script. It needed a deeper dig."
Burn frowned. "You know I was just saying that because I was annoyed I didn't get any juicy scenes in this one, right?"
"Yes, but in this case your egotism has borne brilliant fruit. I am a genius, and here is your monologue."
He put the paper down on the table and beamed at Edgar, sitting next to him. Eugenia leaned over Burn's shoulder as he studied it.
"I'm going to have to mark it to give myself breathing pauses," he said.
"We'll do cuts," Edgar answered.
"No, it has to be one long shot," Ellis replied. "For full effect."
Eugenia laughed. "Have you shown this to Hikki yet?"
"Nope. Go on, Burn, give us a rendering," Ellis said.
Burn cleared his throat and sat back, picking up the paper. "You be Tosh."
"Okay."
"Listen, did I accidentally spit in your coffee or something?" Burn said, in Owen's pugnacious New York accent. "You've been avoiding me for three days."
"I haven't been avoiding you. There was a lot to catch up on."
"Which is why you went out for coffee with Gwen yesterday after blowing me off."
"Owen, I didn't blow you off -- "
"And I want to know why, because I think with maybe the exception of baiting Ian, which is nothing new and I kind of think he enjoys it, that I've been very well behaved. And I can't think of a single reason you would be mad at me, so either it's something I didn't do or something the other Owen in another world did, which is pretty unfair, Tosh, or you suspect me of having some kind of contagious disease. I mean, are you creeped out by me or something? Wait -- is that why? I creep you out? The only reason I can think I would -- oh my god, you know, don't you. Someone -- did that bastard me in the other universe tell you I cared about you? Because, of course I do, you're my friend, but he doesn't know me, we're not the same person. I specifically haven't told you before now because I knew it would creep you out and I think we've got a really good friend thing going. Which is all I want, but that doesn't make me pathetic, I've thought a lot about this -- and maybe that does make me a little pathetic, but the point is I'd rather be friends than all this awkwardness that always comes from relationships. I don't know if you've noticed but I do suck at them, a lot, so you shouldn't have to be my trial run at making it work, that's not fair to you or me. Except now that you know, it does make me look sort of sad that I'm not doing anything. The one good piece of advice my mother ever gave me was carpe diem -- not that I have mother issues, I'm just saying, she said that and it stuck with me, and so. I could man up and ask you out, and -- you know what, that's a great idea, actually, because then if you say no it's done with, we'll just go on like we have been, and if you say yes, I mean. That would. Be nice. So. This is me, manning up. Tosh, do you want to have dinner with me?"
By the end of the monologue Edgar had his head pillowed on his arms, laughing almost too hard to breathe. Ellis beamed.
"This. Is. Brilliant," Burn said.
"Oh my god," Edgar gasped. "It's like a summary of the only thoughts I had my entire high school career."
"What does Tosh say, though?" Eugenia asked.
"Nothing -- she just stares at him, and that's when the rift manipulator alarm blows," Ellis replied.
"You're a sadist, Ellis."
"I'm a writer."
"Are you going to change it up, or can I start working on it?" Burn asked.
"Go to, my son," Ellis said gravely.
***
Sam's Three Things About Torchwood, spoilers for episode 2.19: Mother Always Told Me, Carpe Diem
1. OH MY GOD.
2. OH MY GOD WHAT.
3. WHAT, OH MY GOD.
1. Ahem. This was like a science-fiction-genre episode that somehow got a romantic comedy dropped into the middle of it. With Jack having a plan whose only components are "dinner" and "not being an asshole" and Owen's monologue to Tosh and then, WHAM, Professor Yana opens the Rift. WHAT.
2. I sort of like that Yana has the best of intentions as he goes criminally insane, because you get the sense that he really does just want to find out more about how the universe exists, but now that he hasn't got Owen-inna-Hub to help him he has to rely on his own programming. And while he is a genius he's messing with stuff he doesn't understand, but like most geniuses he has a hard time admitting error. So when they try to stop him he goes a little off the rails and then --
3. Wait, what? Professor Yana is a Time Lord? WHAT OH MY GOD WHAT. Is he? Did he have some kind of magic...thing? Because it looked to me like his pocketwatch got smashed and then he started to regenerate, which makes no sense. And didn't the Doctor say he'd know if any Time Lords had survived the Time War? AND THEN THE EPISODE ENDED AND THE PREVIEW IS ENIGMATIC WHAT THE HELL.
3a. I don't think it's too much of a spoiler to say that Burn Gorman ripped that monologue up like fire. He just kept talking, and it just kept getting funnier and sadder at the same time.
***
Chapter 7
Rating: PG-13 (mainly for language)
Summary: With the Torchwood and Doctor Who seasons drawing to a close, we find Torchwood crossing dimensions and picking up stray physicists, while the Doctor, Rose, and Ross battle fire monsters in ancient Pompeii. Tosh has some new information to consider after meeting an alternate-universe Owen, and Professor Arthur Yana may be more than he appears...
Chapter Six
TORCHWOOD 2x18: THE UNTOUCHABLES
An early-morning earthquake in Chicago leaves everyone unsettled but unharmed -- except for Torchwood's beloved Hub, which has lost power and cameras on a major subsection. The team investigate together, but when they return topside they find doubles of themselves already there. Can their parallel-world selves get them back home before the rift inside the Hub closes? One man may hold the key -- Professor Yana (played by Derek Jacobi), a brilliant physicist who died in Torchwood's timeline but lives on in this parallel world.
Tosh was the first one back to the atrium sublevel after the investigation; Tommy was staying down to work on the wiring, Owen and Ian had uncovered some kind of fungi growing on the Hub walls and were taking samples for analysis, and Jack and Gwen were inspecting the minor earthquake damage to the gun room. Someone had to monitor the Rift and truth be told Tosh didn't mind much; the Hub was sort of...nice, when it was empty.
She was halfway to her desk when a soft beeping noise from Ian's computer station stopped her; curious, she leaned in to study the readout below the anomaly-alert.
Which was when something cold and round pressed against the back of her head, and there was the click of a trigger-hammer being drawn back.
"Don't move," said a voice.
Ian's voice.
Tosh went very still.
"Hands up," he continued. She raised her hands.
"Ian -- " she started, and there was a slight shove against her head.
"I don't know who you are," Ian said, and she could hear him stepping backwards -- good boy, always keep some distance between the gun and your prisoner -- "but you picked the wrong woman to impersonate."
Tosh didn't turn around. "Ian, it's me. Tosh."
"Toshiko Sato is dead. Turn around."
Tosh turned and blinked -- she was sure Ian had been wearing a grey suit with a white shirt that morning, not a black suit with a pink shirt.
"Show yourself," Ian said.
Tosh was opening her mouth to protest when she looked past Ian and saw...
Ian, entering through the corridor to the lower levels. The man holding the gun on her looked to the side just as Ian -- her Ian -- drew his sidearm and fixed it on him.
"Drop the gun!" they shouted in unison.
"Ian?" Tosh asked.
"You all right, Tosh?"
"JACK!" the Ian in front of her shouted.
"What, I'm right -- Ian?" Jack asked, appearing next to the Ian in the entryway.
"Jack?" pink-shirt-Ian asked.
"Ian?" someone called from the balcony.
"Jack!" pink-shirt-Ian called back.
Jack -- another Jack -- was standing on the balcony. "Tosh?" he asked, incredulous.
"Jack," Tosh's Ian said quietly, nodding at the other Jack.
"Jack, I don't -- whoa," Owen said, appearing behind Ian in the corridor. "Uh, Ian?"
"Owen?" the Ian in front of her demanded.
Owen waved. "Hi."
"Ladies, gentlemen," a voice boomed over the speakers. "Let's all put the guns down, all right?"
"Owen..." the Jack on the balcony called to the air.
"Working on it, Jack," the voice answered.
"Captain Harkness," Tosh's Jack called, from the doorway. "We've got two more people coming. Temporary truce? I'd rather they weren't shot accidentally."
"Captain Harkness," the other Jack replied. "Mind if we disarm you?"
"Let's get Tosh out of the crossfire first," Jack said. The other Jack nodded to the Ian in front of her, who eased the safety on and holstered the gun. "Thank you," he added.
"Sir," Ian said.
"Okay, rule one," the Jack on the balcony said. "Nobody touch anybody else. I'm not having a hole ripped in the wall between universes. Who else do you have coming, Captain?"
"Gwen and Tommy," Jack answered.
"We've got a Gwen running around too -- "
"Got her," Owen's voice over the speakers.
"Is that how I sounded?" Owen asked Ian.
"No, you had more attitude," Ian replied.
"I've located two Gwens, one coming from the firing range, one coming down in the elevator. I'm assuming ours is in the elevator. And...there we are...Tommy Sato is behind you," Owen continued. The little gang in the entryway turned.
"Are we standing in the doorway for a holy crap," Tommy said, catching sight of Ian standing near Tosh. He glanced at the Ian standing next to him.
"Cloning machine?" he asked. Ian cast his eyes over to where the second Jack was standing. "Cloning machine run amok?"
The other Jack sauntered over, hands in his pockets, and Tosh stood still as she watched Ian locate a tray and follow him.
The two Captain Harknesses studied each other for a good solid minute.
"So, I'm thinking, the earthquake this morning?" one of them said.
"Did you lose cameras in the sublevels?"
"No, we had no damage."
"Gentlemen," the other Ian said. "Weapons, please."
He held out the tray. Tosh fought hysterical giggles as her Ian eyed the other one.
"You're a dick in every universe," Owen said to Ian, placing his sidearm on the tray. Tommy followed suit.
"Apparently, so am I," said the speakers, as Jack placed his weapon on the tray without breaking his staring-contest with himself.
"Somebody run back and get Gwen," Jack said finally, glancing at Tommy. "Let her know we're having some staffing issues and would appreciate her presence."
"Holy mother of god," said a new voice. The other Jack stiffened.
"And that'll be our Gwen," he sighed. "All right, everyone in the conference room. Ian -- "
"Yes?" both Ians said in unison. Tosh's Jack looked slightly betrayed.
"O...kay. Uh. Everyone but Ian and...Ian, conference room. You two, coffee, and...have a...chat or something," Jack said. "Remember, no touching."
Ian looked to Jack for permission before following his double to the coffee machine.
"After you," the other Jack said, gesturing for Jack to precede him.
Tommy grabbed her hand and held it tightly as they went up the stairs to the conference room.
***
Transcript from the Torchwood Season Two DVD Extras: Cut Scene, "Ian And Ian":
Two Ians are standing in front of the coffee machine, looking contemplative. Ian #1, our Ian, has his hands in his pockets. Ian #2, the parallel-world Ian, straightens his tie.
Ian #1: So.
Ian #2: They're all going to be freaking out up there.
Ian #1: Are you freaking out?
Ian #2: Not as much as I thought I would.
Ian #1: Me neither.
Ian #2: Jack's going to suggest a threesome.
Ian #1: Probably a foursome.
Ian #2: Are you thinking lattes, maybe?
Ian #1: I was thinking, with cinnamon.
Ian #2: I have some banana bread we could bring up.
Ian #1: Tosh is allergic to bananas.
Ian #2: Oh. That's right.
Ian #1: Your Tosh is dead, isn't she.
Ian #2: Tosh and Tommy.
There is a long pause.
Ian #1: I'll make the coffee. You steam the milk.
***
When Owen had been a part of the Hub, once in a while he used to pop things up on Tosh's computer screens -- nothing invasive, Jack had made him promise not to access anyone's private files, but just little message windows to say hello, or funny images he'd picked up trawling through the internet with some of his spare processing speed. She hadn't really ever thought about whether he'd done the same for the rest of the team -- Gwen, probably, and maybe Tommy -- but it was sad and a little bittersweet that the Owen in this world still did it.
The grey text-chat box on the borrowed computer she was using read Knock knock.
She smiled and typed a reply. Who's there?
I actually don't have a joke, Owen answered.
All that processing speed and none of it reserved for puerile humor?
Bonus points for good use of the word puerile, Owen said. Listen, Tosh, I need to tell you something.
Fire away. I'm not working on anything important like getting us home before we're stuck here forever.
I know, I know. Another window popped up on her screen; CCTV live-feed of Owen, doing a physical inspection of the morgue. Here's the thing. I never got the chance to tell you when you were alive, the you from this world. Which, tactless opening.
Just a little, she typed.
And then I got stuck in the Hub. He's checking me out, by the way, Owen added, as the Owen on the screen peered into a cryo unit. So what was the point? But here's the thing, Tosh, and I know it's true for him too because I know myself. I'm in love with you. Or, he is.
Tosh stared at the screen, blood rushing to her face.
That's not funny, Owen.
I'm not laughing. He'll never tell you, but I haven't got anything to lose. When you go you'll be dead, again. So I might as well make sure that you know in at least one universe. I chickened out enough when you were alive, and this time he can't even blame himself if you know. So, there you are. I'm in love with you. I have been for years.
"Tosh!" Jack called -- she wasn't sure which one. "How are those calculations coming?"
"Almost done," she called back, minimizing the CCTV window hastily.
"Come on, Tosh, pick it up," Owen said, emerging from the morgue. "Slacker."
He grinned teasingly, like he always did; Tosh managed a weak smile in return, and bent to her calculations. Math was predictable and reassuring, and usually Owen was too.
While the program compiled, she glanced at him under pretense of checking her notes. He was bickering with both Ians at once, a feat only Owen could pull off. He must have caught her looking out of the corner of his eye; he turned to her, dropped her a wink, and went back to harassing the Ians.
Eventually, however, even Ian got bored and wandered off; Owen came to sit next to her, studying the scrolling numbers on the screen, feet propped up on her desk.
"You know, I think of them as Our Jack and Their Jack, Our Gwen and Their Gwen, and there's Me and Other Me, but both Ians are just Ian. It's like he's totally interchangeable. Is that weird?"
"Yes," she answered absently.
"Well, call me weird then."
When she didn't reply, he poked her. "Tosh. You didn't call me weird."
"Hm?" she asked.
"Are you all right, Tosh?"
"Yes, I'm fine -- " she bit her lip. "You're distracting me, Owen."
"That's what I do," he agreed.
"Go -- get me some tea or something."
"Get your own tea."
Tosh rested her head against the monitor's casing. A little window popped up.
I never said I was easy, Owen said. She closed it.
"Owen, please get me some tea," she said quietly.
Owen swung his feet down and stood up, squeezing her shoulder as he passed. "Genius in any world," he called back. "You'll get it!"
If it's any consolation, I'm almost certain that I'm worth it, Owen said apologetically.
Before she could reply, the rolldoor alarms went off and everyone looked up; when the cage opened an elderly man wandered through, his nose in a large binder, apparently oblivious to his surroundings.
"Jack, I've been looking over these figures and I really can't -- " he said, before he looked up and realized anything was wrong. Tosh saw Jack's jaw drop. She thought it was her Jack, but it was hard to be sure.
"Professor, I've told you about wandering in unannounced," the other Jack said sternly.
"Well, then you shouldn't have given me a key," the Professor said cheerfully. He turned to Tosh and smiled. "Good afternoon, miss. Professor Arthur Yana -- "
"Don't touch her!" Jack barked. The other Jack was still staring.
"Arthur?" he asked, moving forward. The Professor took in the pair of Jacks and frowned.
"Well, this can't be good," he said.
"Professor -- " Jack held up a hand and then stopped himself short. He turned to his counterpart. "You brought him here?"
"Tosh and Tommy were dead," the other man said. "I needed someone brilliant. I didn't have a choice. You look like -- "
"He's dead in my timeline," Jack said, turning back to the Professor. "Dead fifteen years and more. I really want to hug you right now."
"You know him, Jack?" Tosh heard herself ask. Jack was still staring longingly at the Professor.
"Oh yes," he said quietly.
***
From the Torchwood Quotes File, part of The Unofficial Torchwood Fansite:
Yana: It's been common belief for a long time that when parallel worlds are formed it's because of some branching that took place at a particular point -- for example, in one world Toshiko Sato lives, in another she dies. But it's more than that. Little tiny fissures are always appearing in time. Why did Toshiko Sato live in one world and die in another? What happened previous to that to bring it about? My death in your world is obviously not enough to have branched it significantly; to your timeline, you and your brother's deaths are what actually created the fracture. But I died fifteen years before that, so clearly the small differences have been creeping in for some time. It's not true that parallel worlds exist for every second and every decision. They only have the potential to exist. To step through from one into the next, there has to have been a fairly significant branch, with a lot of small changes leading up to it. Your death and your brother's death, in this world, are what allow it -- and thus me -- to exist.
Jack: Arthur Yana is one of the great minds of humanity. In any century.
Ian: His death must have had more effect, then. Things must be pretty significantly different in this world.
Jack: His genius was in his ability to teach, really. I imagine...his students carried on his work competently. They would have been able to follow his footsteps; he was that kind of man. He could make you feel smarter than you were, faster, he made you work harder.
Ian: Were you in love with him?
Jack: Ever had a crush on a teacher?
Ian: [looking at Jack significantly] Yes.
***
Because Torchwood could never do anything by halves, especially when they were doubled-up, the race to build a stabilizer for the interdimensional rift fissure came down to the final minutes; Jack wasn't sure he was going to be able to get his people home, and the thought filled him with panic. Seeing himself in another world was hard enough, but having to abandon Torchwood because another him had already laid claim to it...he could look after Tosh and Tommy, Owen and Gwen and Ian, but they would never fully belong in this world.
The sense of relief he felt as he stepped through the Rift, back into his own world, was almost physical. It must have been intense for Owen; he came through leaning heavily on Tommy's shoulder, and Ian caught him before he could fall down. Gwen looked shaken and exhausted; Tosh, who has been oddly abstracted practically since they'd arrived, allowed Ian to help her to a chair and bring her a glass of water.
"Rift closing," Jack called out, watching the undulating light collapsing in on itself. "We'll be sealed off back again in three...two...one..."
There was a violent flash of light as the hole between worlds shut down, but just before it closed another shape came hurtling through, landing hard and rolling to pull his legs through at the last possible moment. There was the smell of singed wool as the figure sat up, coughed, and began to dust himself off.
"Well," said Professor Yana. "That was exciting, wasn't it?"
Jack stared. "Arthur -- "
"Yes, I know, I know, but it's perfectly safe," the Professor said, hoisting himself up. Tommy grabbed one of his elbows without thinking and helped haul him to his feet. "See? The hole's sealed."
"Yeah, with you on the wrong side of it!" Jack replied.
"Nonsense. I know I'm dead in this world; I was bored of the other one." The Professor beamed at them. "Why not try a new one?"
"Why not..." Ian echoed incredulously.
"Well, certainly. How could I pass up the chance to explore an entirely new universe? I'm an old man, most of my friends were dead, I had no reason to stay. This is something new!" the Professor looked around him in excitement.
"But..." Jack couldn't think of a good argument, which was really annoying. Arthur came forward and Jack realised that finally, finally he could touch him. He threw his arms around him and let Yana laugh into his shoulder, rub his back reassuringly.
"There's a little of the devil in me, you know," he said, stepping back to straighten Jack's collar. Jack glanced at Ian, who was looking annoyed. "You know the old saw, Jack. I cannot rest from travel; I will drink life to the lees..."
Jack rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Talking of," he said with a sigh, "Ian?"
"Coffee," Ian said, hurrying off. The Professor reached into his pocket and took out an antique watch, glancing at Jack.
"You were buried with that," Jack said pointedly.
"Well, it's a good thing I've brought this one, then. What time is it? Locally?"
"Five in the evening," Tosh replied, and then giggled. "In this version of reality, anyway..."
Her laughter was infectious; Owen started next and then it jumped to Tommy and Gwen, so that by the time Ian returned with a carafe of coffee even Jack was chuckling.
"All right, Ulysses," he said, clapping the Professor on the shoulder. "We'll find you someplace to stay for tonight."
"Lead on, Telemachus," the Professor said cheerfully.
***
Transcript from the Season Two DVD Extras: Cut Scene, "Tennyson Recital":
Professor Yana is standing on the Plaza, staring up at the Picasso sculpture. Jack is leaning on a pillar nearby.
Yana: There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail:
There gloom the dark broad seas. My mariners,
Souls that have toil'd, and wrought, and thought with me —
That ever with a frolic welcome took
The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed
Free hearts, free foreheads —
Jack: you and I are old;
Old age hath yet his honour and his toil;
Death closes all: but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.
Yana: It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew
Jack and Yana in unison: Tho' much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
***
torchwood_el special post-episode edition for The Untouchables:
Discussion and Meta:
torchwoodians has a shot-by-shot interpretation of Tosh's reaction to Owen
poisonivy29 is outraged at Owen's behavior
kinkocopier can't stop laughing at Ian
copperbadge has a macro reinterpretation of the episode
Episode coda fanfic:
THE EDUCATION OF CAPTAIN JACK by kid_sato | (Jack/Yana one-sided, PG) | Summary: Jack gets schooled.
CONSIDERATIONS by toshs_gfriend | (Tosh, Owen, PG) | Summary: Tosh works through what she thinks and feels about Owen.
FALL IN by moby_kick | (Tosh/Owen, R) | Summary: "You told me you loved me." "No I didn't." "The other you."
PAIR OF JACKS by mmk_mmk | (Jack/Ian/Jack, NC-17) | Summary: Jack, the universal constant, discovered he could touch others without ripping a hole in space. After which, he did what came naturally.
ARTHUR'S KNIGHT by vanscyocfan | (Jack/Yana, R) | Summary: What do you do when your decades-dead lover is suddenly alive again? Featuring flashback!Jack and young!Professor!Yana.
POUR OUT A FORTY by jekyllpark | (Tosh/Owen, Tommy, Ian, Gwen) | Summary: Tosh and Tommy visit their own graves and Ian always has the appropriate equipment for any job, even an impromptu memorial service. (Comedy, no angst)
General Fanfic:
AMPERSAND by hija_paloma | (Edgar van Scyoc/Ellis Graveworthy, PG-13) | Summary: Somehow, Edgar realized, he'd stopped seeing Ellis as his head writer and started seeing him as his boyfriend long before he even entertained the idea of kissing him.
***
"Oh, my god," Edgar said.
"What? What's happened?" Ellis looked up from the latest draft of the script, across the room to where Edgar was wasting time on the internet.
"I'm reading the reactions to the show," Edgar said.
"Have they any idea about Yana?"
"A few people think he's evil. That's not the point."
"All right, what's got you twisted up?"
"Did you know they were writing porn about us?" Edgar demanded.
Ellis looked at his stricken face, still staring at the computer screen in front of him, and burst into laughter.
"You knew!" Edgar accused.
"Yes, dear man, I knew. I find it flattering that they think so highly of my prowess, but on the other hand I'm quite certain that you are not that flexible."
"Oh my god, Ellis!"
"That's not the worst part."
"There's worse?"
"You've not stumbled across the stories about David and John, yet, have you."
"David Tennant and John Barrowman?"
"Told you there was worse."
"The world would end!"
***
DOCTOR WHO 1x18: FIRES OF POMPEII
It's Rose's turn to choose where they travel, and her selection is Rose all over: the Roman Empire at the height of its decadent rise. When they end up in Pompeii, however, on the day before a volcanic eruption that will destroy the city, Rose and Ross must face up to the fact that they can't change history -- and the Doctor must make a decision between his principles as a Time Lord and his feelings as a man.
TORCHWOOD 2x19: A GREATER UNDERSTANDING
Torchwood's agents are slowly adjusting to a new presence among their numbers: Professor Yana, who has a passion for exploration and a genius for intuitive deduction. Some of his experiments with the Torchwood supercomputer and Owen's consciousness in it, however, make Owen and Tosh extremely nervous. Distracted by her own doubts about Owen, Tosh isn't sure whether either of them are seeing things clearly, but when the Professor begins to revive some of his old theorems and test them at the Hub, they have to find a way to make Jack believe them -- before Professor Yana destroys them all.
Excerpt from the shooting script for Episode 2x19: A Greater Understanding
Story by: Edgar van Scyoc
Teleplay by: Ellis Graveworthy
Directed by: Edgar van Scyoc
INT - HUB - AFTERNOON
IAN is tidying up his desk, obviously preparing to leave. GWEN approaches with a coffee mug and places it in the sink.
IAN
Thanks. Are you knocking off?
GWEN
Unless you think I'll be needed.
IAN
Rift seems quiet, and Tosh said she'd keep an eye on it this evening. Keep your cell handy, but I think you can sneak away.
GWEN
Jack said he had plans tonight -- are you going home too?
IAN
I think I'm the plans. It's good to get him out of the Hub once in a while.
GWEN
Oh, is that all it is.
IAN
Well, it's part of a system Jack has.
GWEN
Feeding you up?
IAN
Proving his monogamy.
GWEN
[chokes on her coffee]
What?
IAN
[resigned]
He said he knew I didn't like the Professor, and I asked if there was a reason, and he said he could be monogamous, and I said I was sure he could try, and he said he'd done it before and we got into it and it ended with the System.
GWEN
The System to prove he can commit to one person.
IAN
Which apparently involves feeding me, mostly. Not that I'm going to say no to dinner at the Grand Lux.
GWEN
I'm not sure I see the link.
IAN
That's because there isn't one. It's just hard to prove a negative. So...food. For Jack, it's a reasonably acceptable leap of logic.
GWEN
Does he think you don't trust him?
IAN
I...I'm not sure I trust his attempts to change his personality, if that's what it is. I don't want that. I don't know what he thinks. A lot of the time. Most of the time. If not all.
[pause]
I'm a very confused person, in fact.
GWEN
If he asked you to marry him today, what would you do?
IAN
Weep and flee, probably.
GWEN
It's not just Jack's problem, huh?
IAN
Nope. We'll get there, one way or another. Or I'll die first.
Gwen
Ian!
IAN
Practical consideration, Gwen.
GWEN
All this brought on by the Professor.
IAN
I don't have any reason not to like him. It's just a gut instinct. And I'm trying to ignore it.
GWEN
You have plenty of reasons not to like him.
IAN
Well, share 'em, then. I could use some concrete facts to back up my baser instincts.
GWEN
He crossed worlds when he knew the problems it might cause. We don't know anything about him except that Jack trusts him, but Jack doesn't know what's happened to him in the last fifteen years. He remembers things that never happened.
[beat]
And you saw the way Jack looked at him the first time.
IAN
Yes. I did. But technically the Professor has prior claim.
GWEN
Jack's not a country you plant your flag in, Ian.
[IAN gives her a filthy grin]
You know what I meant.
IAN
Yeah. Anyway --
JACK
IAN!
IAN
[dry]
His Master's Voice.
[To GWEN's surprise, he hugs her]
I'll see you tomorrow.
JACK appears in the doorway, grinning.
JACK
Ready?
IAN
Always.
JACK winks at GWEN as IAN pulls his coat on. They exit together, JACK casually slipping his arm around IAN's waist.
GWEN turns back to the Hub to see PROFESSOR YANA watching her. He quickly looks down at a readout in front of him.
***
"So," Ellis said, sitting down at the picnic table laden with sandwiches filched from the Craft Services table, "you were right."
"I'm always right," Burn said with a grin. "What was I right about?"
"Owen and Tosh in the new script. It needed a deeper dig."
Burn frowned. "You know I was just saying that because I was annoyed I didn't get any juicy scenes in this one, right?"
"Yes, but in this case your egotism has borne brilliant fruit. I am a genius, and here is your monologue."
He put the paper down on the table and beamed at Edgar, sitting next to him. Eugenia leaned over Burn's shoulder as he studied it.
"I'm going to have to mark it to give myself breathing pauses," he said.
"We'll do cuts," Edgar answered.
"No, it has to be one long shot," Ellis replied. "For full effect."
Eugenia laughed. "Have you shown this to Hikki yet?"
"Nope. Go on, Burn, give us a rendering," Ellis said.
Burn cleared his throat and sat back, picking up the paper. "You be Tosh."
"Okay."
"Listen, did I accidentally spit in your coffee or something?" Burn said, in Owen's pugnacious New York accent. "You've been avoiding me for three days."
"I haven't been avoiding you. There was a lot to catch up on."
"Which is why you went out for coffee with Gwen yesterday after blowing me off."
"Owen, I didn't blow you off -- "
"And I want to know why, because I think with maybe the exception of baiting Ian, which is nothing new and I kind of think he enjoys it, that I've been very well behaved. And I can't think of a single reason you would be mad at me, so either it's something I didn't do or something the other Owen in another world did, which is pretty unfair, Tosh, or you suspect me of having some kind of contagious disease. I mean, are you creeped out by me or something? Wait -- is that why? I creep you out? The only reason I can think I would -- oh my god, you know, don't you. Someone -- did that bastard me in the other universe tell you I cared about you? Because, of course I do, you're my friend, but he doesn't know me, we're not the same person. I specifically haven't told you before now because I knew it would creep you out and I think we've got a really good friend thing going. Which is all I want, but that doesn't make me pathetic, I've thought a lot about this -- and maybe that does make me a little pathetic, but the point is I'd rather be friends than all this awkwardness that always comes from relationships. I don't know if you've noticed but I do suck at them, a lot, so you shouldn't have to be my trial run at making it work, that's not fair to you or me. Except now that you know, it does make me look sort of sad that I'm not doing anything. The one good piece of advice my mother ever gave me was carpe diem -- not that I have mother issues, I'm just saying, she said that and it stuck with me, and so. I could man up and ask you out, and -- you know what, that's a great idea, actually, because then if you say no it's done with, we'll just go on like we have been, and if you say yes, I mean. That would. Be nice. So. This is me, manning up. Tosh, do you want to have dinner with me?"
By the end of the monologue Edgar had his head pillowed on his arms, laughing almost too hard to breathe. Ellis beamed.
"This. Is. Brilliant," Burn said.
"Oh my god," Edgar gasped. "It's like a summary of the only thoughts I had my entire high school career."
"What does Tosh say, though?" Eugenia asked.
"Nothing -- she just stares at him, and that's when the rift manipulator alarm blows," Ellis replied.
"You're a sadist, Ellis."
"I'm a writer."
"Are you going to change it up, or can I start working on it?" Burn asked.
"Go to, my son," Ellis said gravely.
***
Sam's Three Things About Torchwood, spoilers for episode 2.19: Mother Always Told Me, Carpe Diem2. OH MY GOD WHAT.
3. WHAT, OH MY GOD.
1. Ahem. This was like a science-fiction-genre episode that somehow got a romantic comedy dropped into the middle of it. With Jack having a plan whose only components are "dinner" and "not being an asshole" and Owen's monologue to Tosh and then, WHAM, Professor Yana opens the Rift. WHAT.
2. I sort of like that Yana has the best of intentions as he goes criminally insane, because you get the sense that he really does just want to find out more about how the universe exists, but now that he hasn't got Owen-inna-Hub to help him he has to rely on his own programming. And while he is a genius he's messing with stuff he doesn't understand, but like most geniuses he has a hard time admitting error. So when they try to stop him he goes a little off the rails and then --
3. Wait, what? Professor Yana is a Time Lord? WHAT OH MY GOD WHAT. Is he? Did he have some kind of magic...thing? Because it looked to me like his pocketwatch got smashed and then he started to regenerate, which makes no sense. And didn't the Doctor say he'd know if any Time Lords had survived the Time War? AND THEN THE EPISODE ENDED AND THE PREVIEW IS ENIGMATIC WHAT THE HELL.
3a. I don't think it's too much of a spoiler to say that Burn Gorman ripped that monologue up like fire. He just kept talking, and it just kept getting funnier and sadder at the same time.
***
Chapter 7
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(Anonymous) 2008-07-07 01:56 am (UTC)(link)Ian is so wonderful, terribly young but at the same time more mature than anyone else in Torchwood. I love how aware he is of his own flaws and shortcomings and how gracefully he tries to prevent them from bothering other people. He may not be unsure about his thing with Jack but he recognizes that it was his choice. Also, I have always wanted him to say something about how his imminent death will probably prevent him from working out his issues. It just seems like something he would say (preferably to Lisa, bring her back for an episode Torchwood writers). Er, can you tell that he's my favorite.
Jack is delightfully bad at human interaction. "Ever had a crush on a teacher?" Well, what do you think, Jack?
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I seem to recall reading somewhere in an interview that the Torchwood writers believe that the average lifespan for a Torchwood agent is 35. Apparently they were originally going to kill Ianto instead of Owen in the finale, but Burn Gorman had other projects he wanted to do, or something.
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WHAT
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PS... I'm outraged at Owen's behavior. ^_~
*giggles and runs off*
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It's tricky moral ground, what Owen did. Telling someone you love them when there's another you around, and knowing that's the guy who's going to get the fallout...But you are him, too, so it's not like he would have made a different decision in your place...
I'm sure there was wank about it, anyhow. :D
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Oh, and I'm not really outraged at Owen's behavior. Sorry! I guess the silliness loses some flavor when you have a different screen name on lj. I just use "PoisonIvy" on the TW forum and was having a bit of fun... ^_^
Brilliant story, by the way!
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