Methodically Curious

[sam_storyteller]

Rating: PG-13 (Remus/Tonks implied)
Summary: Nymphadora has questions.
Warnings: None.

Also available at AO3.



So do werewolves have sex?

I beg your pardon?

Sorry, here, this should soak up the tea...do they? I mean, can they -- er -- you?

Have sex?

Yes.

Why on earth -- yes, not that it's any of your business, Nymphadora Tonks. Does your mother know you ask this sort of thing to unsuspecting men drinking their tea?

You don't have to, er, do anything special?

Special? What, like -- I can't even think of what "special" might entail. Do elabo -- no. Don't. Forget I asked.

Mind your moon phases, nothing like that?

No. Well. I would imagine it would be uncomfortable, if not terminal, for the other person involved, during the full moon. Otherwise no. Why are you asking?

And it works just like normal?

As far as I've been able to ascertain in twenty years of field research, yes.

Was that a grin, Remus?

Are you helping Harry with some sort of extremely twisted school report?

So why don't you? Ever?

How do you know I don't?

Well, nobody ever sees you with anyone. It's not contagious, is it?

No, thank god.

So why don't you go out, ever? Can werewolves, er -- in the shower, like, or --

That's really between me and the shower, Tonks.

Aha!

Why aha? There's nothing at all to aha over.

Well, that's a shame, everyone ought to...aha. I aha.

I am not having this conversation with you.

Have a biscuit. So it's just like regular people, then?

Most of the time.

Most of the time?

It's a bit worse right around the full moon.

Worse?

Worse.

Interrogative note indicative of curiousity.

My, we do know some big words. I believe the technical term is "increased libido". If you must know.

That sounds like fun.

Not if you're me. No -- don't do your Lupin, you get my forehead all wrong.

Is that why you're always so worn out afterwards?

No, that's due to my skeleton reforming itself twice in the space of twenty-four hours.

Oh. Sorry.

Yes, I blame you.

Hah. So you're perfectly capable and pretty interested, generally speaking?

Was that a proposition, Tonks?

Yes.

Do say something, Remus.

I was joking.

I wasn -- mmf...

Oh.

Mmm.

Satisfy your curiousity?

Not by half...

Comments

[serpentpixie.livejournal.com]

This actually made me giggle. I do not giggle...ever. As Tonks might say when she isn't being satisfied... I think it was a girl moment.

I really do love this ;)

[quean-of-swords.livejournal.com]

Adorable. I love Lupin/Tonks. ^_^

[http://users.livejournal.com/_theduchess/]

Yay for R/T sex! :D

[book-people.livejournal.com]

*loves* I actually like the R/T pairing sometimes. When it's handled right, as in, not forced like JKR did... *mutter mutter grumble grumble* [/mini-rant]

This was really cute, Sam!

Adi

[turloughishere.livejournal.com]

What a wonderfully cute, snicker-inducing little story. Thank you for cheering up my evening.

[twilekangel.livejournal.com]

*snickers*
I still prefer gay!Remus, but this was too funny to pass up. Only you Sam!

[bluejeans07.livejournal.com]

*grinning*

So remember girls, remember to hug your local werewolf and be sure to put out for him before the full moon, because there is no menopause for lycanthrophy, thank god. XD

[cerridwen666.livejournal.com]

I'm not a big fan of the Remus/Tonks pairing because Jo forced it on my and it was way to sudden, but this was cute because this is something I would have done.

[secondsilk.livejournal.com]

Awww!
Yay for Tonks. And for conversation only fic.
Mmm, Remus/Tonks. Vyernice whimsical tone.

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

"Not if you're me. No -- don't do your Lupin, you get my forehead all wrong."

One of the best lines EVER.

I love this fic!

[tenebris.livejournal.com]

That was adorable, Sam. Just adorable.

Part of me wants to steal this phrase--Interrogative note indicative of curiousity.--and use it everywhere in my writing. It's such a linguisticy thing to say, methinks!

[mint-green.livejournal.com]

I second that.

[sam-storyteller.livejournal.com]

Well, you're welcome to use it :D I just like the word "interrogative" :)

[mint-green.livejournal.com]

"No, that's due to my skeleton reforming itself twice in the space of twenty-four hours."

I love that.

Best dialoge ever.

[marzouki.livejournal.com]

OMG! This story!
I never give feedback, I only lurk, but this story! I loved it when I first read it, and I find it just as funny and adorable now!
This was the first piece of not strictly gen fanfiction I gave my younger brother to read btw.
Er. What I'm trying to say is that this is one of my favourite R/T stories, and thank you for re-posting it.

ps. If you're worried about flist spamming, you could just backdate the entries..

[sam-storyteller.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[(Anonymous)]

Loved this story. She's talking sex, he's drinking tea--what a couple. The whole thing had me giggling. I rec'd it on my journal.

[arrua.livejournal.com]

Opps! That was me above. Anyway, great job!

[sam-storyteller.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[elaran.livejournal.com]

*snickers madly*

[angel-love-song.livejournal.com]

*glomps* I adored Tonks jumping on Remus and loving him as much as she could~ XD

[i-louvre-art.livejournal.com]

"Well, that's a shame, everyone ought to...aha. I aha."

*sporffle*

I love your dialogue. All the time. And I love your Remus/Tonks. I kind of abhor the ship as a rule, though, so good job!

[lexie-smith.livejournal.com]

very funny.

Short and a good laugh

[lizzledpink.livejournal.com]

So, Tonks ahas, as does Remus it seems. Harry erms.

Out of curiosity what in the name of Kasterborous does Snape do? Does he... uh?