sam_storyteller: (Default)
sam_storyteller ([personal profile] sam_storyteller) wrote2005-07-06 12:53 am

Nothing Constant, Ch. 9

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4
Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8


***

We agreed to go to Portobello Road the next day, because they both wanted to find the book for academic reasons and I wanted to find it for, hah, spiritual ones. I let Lovejoy kip on the sofa that night, which caused a storm with Kit. She doesn't like me bringing the work home. Still, he was tidy and polite to her, so she couldn't really say anything. If she doesn't like threadbare men sleeping in her flat she shouldn't have shacked up with me.

Lovejoy charmed her over breakfast, though; he cooked bacon and eggs and had hot toast when we woke up, and didn't use all the hot water in the shower. Kit appreciates these things, because she sure as hell doesn't get them from me very often.

We make it down to the top of Portobello Road, where the market starts, just as an enormous antique car pulls up. Lovejoy's having fits of pleasure. I watch as Death Wimsey gets out, and then as his woman Meredith follows.

"We go alone," I say, jerking my head at her.

"Meredith comes with me everywhere," he replies. "I'm not satisfied yet that this isn't some sort of trick."

"Cagey bugger, aren't you?" Lovejoy asks. Breakfast did him a world of good.

"You wouldn't be the first to try," says Wimsey. "Besides, I do my research the same as anyone. You're a con-man and petty thief, Lovejoy."

"Am not!" Lovejoy retorts. "Forgery's an art."

"Mmmh. And you, Mr. Constantine, are an ex-convict and, though I use the prefix lightly, an ex-lunatic. A two-year stay in a mental institution for the criminally deranged," Wimsey continues, damn him.

Lovejoy glances at me. I shrug.

"So she comes along, or it all ends here. You should also know that I've placed the book in a safety-deposit box; if someone is even now robbing my house they'll have an unpleasant surprise."

"Booby traps?"

"No; armed resistance. I have a cousin who's a policeman."

"Right then!" says Lovejoy cheerfully. "Let's go find a book."

***

Nothing turned up in Portobello Road except for three or four antique volumes Lovejoy uncovered and Wimsey bought on the spot, once he'd verified Lovejoy's finds. It went a long way towards verifying our story, too. Lovejoy's useful when he wants to be.

We sit at a pub near the end of the road and drink beer; Meredith doesn't sit with us, pity, but stands outside talking to the latest in a long line of market-stall owners.

"I don't see what you're going to accomplish by destroying the book," Wimsey tells me.

"Both books," I grunt.

"Are they dangerous somehow?"

"Not to normal people."

"What the hell does that mean?" he asks.

"Listen," I say. "I don't know harpsichords from handcarts, right? If you sit down at one you can bang out a pretty tune but if I sit down at one I'd break something. Now imagine the harpsichord is reality and I'm you -- "

Lovejoy snorts into his beer.

"And the men who want your book are me. They don't know what they're doing, or if they do they can't mean anything good by it."

"Are you trying to tell me you're somehow saving the world by burning my book?" Wimsey inquires mildly. "Because you know, I think Adolf Hitler said something along those lines."

"It's not about philosophy, you stupid bastard," I say. He scowls. "It's deeper than that. These books don't have ideas in them -- "

"You can say that again," Lovejoy remarks.

" -- but they are dangerous."

"Tell me how," Wimsey insists.

"Yes, because you already think I'm a nutter. I'm not going to back up your assumption."

"I want to find this book as much as you do; volumes of a set should go together," Wimsey says. "But, and I want to make this perfectly clear, you will not put light to any book in my possession until you tell me the truth."

I groan. "I'll tell you what, if and when we find this book, you'll know then, right?"

"Well, we have to find it first. I don't think Portobello Road's a very good place -- things are sold too often here," Wimsey says. "I can make inquiries amongst a few agents I know."

"Yeah -- I've already done that," I say. "Well, one agent."

"Just one?"

"He's very good."

"Pendleton?"

I laugh. "No."

"Then who? Not Markham, he's a swindler."

"No. You don't know him, Wimsey, I promise."

Wimsey looks put out. Well, hells, it wouldn't hurt to show him, and I have to check in anyway.

"Finish your beer and I'll introduce you," I sigh.

***

I hate angels. I mean, I really do. Supercilious bastards, the lot of them. And they have no moral compass at all. I fucking hate angels. Especially that son of a bitch Gabriel.

Az is the exception, though. He's all right.

For one thing, he's spent more time with actual people than all of the rest combined. And he chums around with a demon. Don't get me wrong, I hate demons too, but if I had to choose between an angel and a demon -- well, I'd slit my throat, but if that wasn't an option give me demons any day.

So, Az spends his time with a demon named AJ, which makes him a little less of a bastard than the rest. He can still get on his high horse if he wants, but AJ keeps him humble.

"Hullo Az," I say, pushing the bookshop door open. There's a sound like a dove flying off, and then he shows up from behind a shelf. He looks like Gabriel's older closeted-gay Tory brother, knit pullovers, round-faced, the whole costume.

"I really must insist you not call me that, Mr. Constantine," he says, instead of hello. I roll my eyes.

"Fell, fine."

"Good. And how are you this afternoon? You look rather footsore, would you like some tea?"

"Ta," I say, as Lovejoy and Wimsey follow me in. Wimsey's left Meredith in the car this time, which I guess means he's starting to trust the con-man and the ex-lunatic. "This is Lovejoy, he's a mate, and that's Wimsey. He's a Lord."

"Surely not Lord Death Wimsey?" Fell asks warmly. "This is an unexpected pleasure. Make yourselves at home, do; I'll just fetch the tea."

"How have I never found this place before?" Wimsey asks, looking around him like a crackwhore in a police impound warehouse.

"You have to know where to look," I answer. Automatically I'm lighting a cigarette, but the lighter doesn't work. Fuckin' Az.

Lovejoy's gone all silent and blissful again, and he's gravitating slowly to the back of the shop, when Az emerges again with tea. He's coming out a different door he went in, but all these old shops have a million passages and cubbyholes and all.

"Tea and biscuits. Do sit down," he adds, waving to an arrangement of wingchairs grouped around a small table. I swear they weren't there the minute before.

Lovejoy, to everyone's surprise, pours. Could be the antique teapot, I guess. Az settles in as if he spends all day with lords and crooks.

"I must say I'm surprised to see you with my friend Mr. Constantine, Lord Death," he says.

"Wimsey, please," Death Wimsey says.

"Quite. Are you in the way of wishing to purchase -- " there's a slight shudder on the word; he hates selling books, " -- some of my wares? Or you, Mr. Lovejoy? I assume Mr. Constantine is acting as an agent for one of you two gentlemen."

"It's the book I came in for earlier," I say.

"Ah yes, the naughty Renaissance literature," Az says with a smile.

"Was wondering if you had any leads. Found the other one," I say. He blinks at me in astonishment for a moment.

"Did you? That's wonderful! I -- "

There's an interruption, someone entering the shop, and a voice calls out.

"Angel? Fell? Listen, where the heaven are you?"

Az sighs. "Excuse me. I'm over here, Crowley," he calls, raising his voice. "I should have known you'd show up when tea was in the offing."

AJ Crowley's not a very fearsome sight either. He wears black a lot and has flash sunglasses, but he's mostly harmless as long as you don't annoy him. And it's not a good idea to ask him to take off the sunglasses.

They're off now, unfortunately. His slitted catlike eyes are yellow in the bookshop's dim light.

"Crowley, this is Lord Death Wimsey; John Constantine you know, of course, and that's Mr. Lovejoy," Az says, helpfully making introductions I'd hoped to avoid.

"Hullo lads," he says, looking right at me. "Out for a bit of a romp, are we?"

There's trouble on the wind.
fleurrochard: A black and white picture of a little girl playing air-guitar and singing (Default)

[personal profile] fleurrochard 2006-03-28 03:11 pm (UTC)(link)
*squeeeeeeeeeeees*
Oh, I love it! And of course, how could Aziraphale and Crowley miss in such a story?

[identity profile] cleversimon.livejournal.com 2006-03-28 03:12 pm (UTC)(link)
*claps hands in glee*

[identity profile] ignescent.livejournal.com 2006-03-28 03:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Have I mentioned that I adore you, and would love to someday shower you with chocolates and roses? Conjob's take on Azriphael and Crowley is wonderfully perfect, and I adore Wimsey's suspicion. More, please!
ext_312: yay!Gerard (yay!)

[identity profile] turloughishere.livejournal.com 2006-03-28 03:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Wheeeee!! This story just keeps getting better and better! Of course a story about books must include Aziraphale! And with him comes Crowley naturally. Wheeeee again!!!!

[identity profile] neotoma.livejournal.com 2006-03-28 04:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Wimsey is going to get a HECK of a lot more than he anticipated, isn't he? Crowley isn't rabidly viscious (unlike Haster and Ligur) but he's quite clever, and he's definitely enjoys poetic justice/revenge. He and Constantine share a 'do unto them before they do unto *us*' attitude, and since Crowley is a demon, he's much more likely to create instant mayhem.

On the other hand, Aziraphale can step on Crowley the way he can't on Constantine. John doesn't *care* what Aziraphale thinks of him, and Crowley actually does. And John is a *lot* more stubborn and viscious in his anger.

[identity profile] jazmin-firewing.livejournal.com 2006-03-28 04:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes! Finally! Characters I actually know! I love Good Omens, and I love that there's people I can actually, y'know, recognize now in this marvelous work of art that is nevertheless incomprehensible to me.

[identity profile] dancing-moon.livejournal.com 2006-03-28 04:43 pm (UTC)(link)
*squeeeees* Oh yes! This is so wonderful! And suddenly I know half the cast instead of one third ^_^

You have a great voice, it's close to Constantine's in the canon but not as gritty, which I think really fits considering the other fandoms involved.
Hee, I think Aziraphale and John have much the same opinions on other angels.

[identity profile] lisechen.livejournal.com 2006-03-28 04:57 pm (UTC)(link)
AHAHAHAHHAHAH YES. A WORLD OF YES.

[identity profile] juniper200.livejournal.com 2006-03-28 05:25 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm on to you -- you're gearing up for a run at the "most fandoms in a narratively coherent crossover" prize.

[identity profile] sam-storyteller.livejournal.com 2006-03-28 08:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Teeeechnically three of the fandoms are pretty much one and the same. Gaiman wrote for Good Omens and Sandman, and Sandman crosses over with Hellblazer once or twice.

They just fit together! :D

*ponders what other fandoms he belongs to that are gritty, British, and literate* *aka Griterate*

(no subject)

[identity profile] juniper200.livejournal.com - 2006-03-28 21:04 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] juniper200.livejournal.com - 2006-03-28 21:10 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] juniper200.livejournal.com - 2006-03-28 21:24 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] kate_nepveu - 2006-03-29 00:59 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] kate_nepveu - 2006-03-30 01:33 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] alexandralynch.livejournal.com 2006-03-28 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I am working VERY hard not to beg for more.

[identity profile] elucreh.livejournal.com 2006-03-28 09:34 pm (UTC)(link)
This story is intriguing, Sam. And all the crossovers are giving me joy, including the mention of Bedknobs and Broomsticks. But I'm falling in interest with the characters. *sighs* *goes to hunt down Lovejoy and Constantine* I don't know why I didn't just do that from the beginning...

[identity profile] elucreh.livejournal.com 2006-04-03 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
Um, are Constantine and Lovejoy's attitudes towards women canonically similar?

[identity profile] stvincent.livejournal.com 2006-03-28 11:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Nothing turned up in Portobello Road except for three or four antique volumes Lovejoy uncovered and Wimsey bought on the spot, once he'd verified Lovejoy's finds. It went a long way towards verifying our story, too. Lovejoy's useful when he wants to be.

We sit at a pub near the end of the road and drink beer; Meredith doesn't sit with us, pity, but stands outside talking to the latest in a long line of market-stall owners.


The tense shift between these two paragraphs jarred me a little. I might stay in the present for the whole thing, or open the second paragraph with "we are sitting," or something like that.

Good Omens!!!!!

He looks like Gabriel's older closeted-gay Tory brother, knit pullovers, round-faced, the whole costume.

This bit was perfect. XD And Crowley too!! :3 This fic is turning in a very promising direction ....

[identity profile] sam-storyteller.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks for catching that -- I've added it to the edits file :)

Glad you liked the closeted-gay Tory brother, I thought that was a pretty great phrase myself :D

[identity profile] danceswchopstck.livejournal.com 2006-03-28 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
*spasm of greed*

More! More!

Is Wimsey going to be perfectly bland about Crowley's eyes, or what? Why did Constantine want to avoid introducing Wimsey and Lovejoy to Crowley?

:D *giggles over "where the heaven are you" and bounces delightedly*

[identity profile] danceswchopstck.livejournal.com 2008-06-29 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
Any chance you'll revive Nothing Constant, one of these days? I'd sure like to read the rest of it!

[identity profile] ayleedragon.livejournal.com 2006-03-29 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
Man, all you need now is for Lupin and Sirius to show up, and you are set.

(perhaps Sam Vimes, through wizardish meddling.)

[identity profile] sam-storyteller.livejournal.com 2006-03-29 02:21 pm (UTC)(link)
*grins*

*grins eeeevilly*

[identity profile] rimestock.livejournal.com 2006-03-29 12:51 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, Sam.

Oh, Sam, you wicked, wicked man.

[identity profile] mysid.livejournal.com 2006-03-29 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
You ARE the crossover god.

Az. Love it. And that the lighter doesn't work in the bookshop. And that it's not a good idea to ask Crowley to take off his sunglasses. AND that Crowley doesn't bother to wear them in Aziraphale's shop. After all, he's not going to shock the angel, is he?

Sorry to hear that you threw out your back, but--silver lining? Stuck laying on your back with nothing to do but write. (Yes, we're evil and greedy for more.)

[identity profile] grey-bard.livejournal.com 2006-03-29 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
Mmmmm, lovely fic. I'm so glad to see more, and the extra crossover is fitting and delicious!

[identity profile] deepfishy.livejournal.com 2006-03-29 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, my. This is rapidly becoming the best multi-crossover fic ever!

Greatly looking forward to the next chapter :D

[identity profile] blythely.livejournal.com 2006-03-29 08:15 am (UTC)(link)
xxx

You. Me. Upstairs. Now.

[identity profile] sam-storyteller.livejournal.com 2006-03-29 02:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, wifey. *broad grin*

Can we play pirates? You can be the captain...

(no subject)

[identity profile] blythely.livejournal.com - 2006-03-29 14:49 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] blythely.livejournal.com - 2006-03-29 23:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] blythely.livejournal.com - 2006-03-29 23:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] blythely.livejournal.com - 2006-03-30 17:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] blythely.livejournal.com - 2006-03-30 17:35 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] melata-fic.livejournal.com 2006-03-29 12:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I love this story to bits. You have a way of making even characters I don't know seem interesting enough to read about, which is a trick few fanfiction writers master.

Also, your John Constantine is perfect. and someone who can successfully place John Constantine, Ellie, and Lucien in a room together earns my love forever. :D

Is that Ellis Graveworthy's ancestor? Ehehe.

And Portobello Road... I liked that movie, even though I was a little too old for it. :)

And Kit, and Aziraphale! Although now that I think of it, Aziraphale was who I tended to think of when I read about Ray Monde.

[identity profile] nineveh-uk.livejournal.com 2006-03-29 03:24 pm (UTC)(link)
He looks like Gabriel's older closeted-gay Tory brother, knit pullovers, round-faced, the whole costume.
Oh fab. And of course, Aziraphale's presence in Sayers is canonical. How else does Harriet get to the Donne manuscript before Peter does, if not by Aziraphale putting her on to it to ensure she doesn't buy anything form the shop?

[identity profile] chains-of-irony.livejournal.com 2006-03-30 10:25 am (UTC)(link)
Just when I thought this couldn't get any better, you bring Az Aziraphale and Crowley into it! Glee!

One thing that hadn't occured to me before; are we ignoring the time difference, or is Lord Peter quite old/Constantine quite young?

x

[identity profile] sam-storyteller.livejournal.com 2006-03-30 02:20 pm (UTC)(link)
It's Lord Peter's grandson :) Peter himself is dead. The entire thing is set in 1995, right after Constantine's cancer episode.
ext_1499: (Default)

[identity profile] busarewski.livejournal.com 2006-03-30 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Fantastic! Somehow I'd missed this story and read all the previous parts in one go. Lovejoy! My god, I remember that old TV-series from the early 90s, we devoutly followed it, even if it seem like the book!Lovejoy is much cooler and more of a badass that the telly!Lovejoy was allowed to be. I need to pick up those books. Lord Death is such a pleasure to read, what will he make of it all? And Constantine is just as he should. And now, the angel&demon! Great stuff, looking forward to more.

[identity profile] vonbrigthi.livejournal.com 2006-06-13 07:44 pm (UTC)(link)
... <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

[identity profile] auberus.livejournal.com 2006-07-23 01:57 am (UTC)(link)
Please tell me that you're going to continue this!!! (it can't stop now!)

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2006-08-16 22:38 (UTC) - Expand

Page 1 of 2