sam_storyteller: (Default)
sam_storyteller ([personal profile] sam_storyteller) wrote2005-07-12 10:10 am
Entry tags:

Studio 60: Meeting The Constituents. PG, Gen.

Rating: PG for language
Summary: Matt and Danny have very vocal fans and very unkind co-workers.
Warnings: None.

Also available at AO3.


"You wanted to speak with me?"

Danny put his head around the doorway of Wes's -- Matt's -- office, and peered into the gloom. Wes had always kept the place brilliantly lit, but Matt liked writing in the darkness like some kind of literary vampire bat.

"Yeah," Matt said, still staring at the screen. "Which is funnier, bloop or kadoing?"

"That...depends...on which...cartoon character you are?" Danny ventured. "You called me up here to debate the semiotics of bloop?"

"No, I called you up here to show you this," Matt said, picking up a shiny, glossy strip of paper and holding it between index and middle finger. It wasn't actually paper; it was a sticker. A bumper-sticker in fact. Two red stripes on a white background and vivid blue lettering:


"Now, mainly I want to know why I'm vice-president," Matt said.

"Who made that, props? It's pretty slick," Danny said, actually entering the room and taking the sticker out of Matt's fingers.

"No. The internet made it."


"The internet. Made it. Someone on the internet made them and they're selling them on cafepress dot com," Matt said.

"Jesus, I'm going to turn the internet off to the whole building," Danny said. "There's got to be a wire somewhere I can cut."

"What the hell did we do to deserve that?" Matt asked, gesturing at the bumper sticker as if it might bite him.

"Uhh, took over a major cultural icon and made it cool again? Just a thought," Danny suggested.

Matt rubbed his eyes. "I don't want to be vice president."

"Well, don't run. I don't think we'll do very well with soccer moms anyway, they tend to vote against recovering drug addicts. What's our platform on abortion?"


"Seriously, is this upsetting you? And if so, why?" Danny asked, leaning on the desk. "It's good publicity for the show."

"It's not good publicity for me," Matt said. "They couldn't pick Harry and Simon?"

"What do you mean, it's not good publicity for you? People like you, they want you to be my vice-president. That's pretty damn awesome. Hey, we could sketch this, couldn't we? You know, start out with a bunch of people really unlikely to get elected, run the series until sweeps and hold a mock election at sweeps. Then you've got your running gag -- President...Gumby or whatever."

He saw a spark in Matt's eyes, just for a moment, and knew that the seed had been planted -- it might not blossom right now, but in another two weeks max there'd be a presidential-race sketch in the midnight timeslot.

"I don't want attention," Matt muttered.

"This is still you being gunshy."

"It's not -- "

"It is, Matt! All you can remember is the last time you were this famous it was for being the only guy backing Bill Maher against the entire Religious Right and everyone screaming too soon too soon. But it isn't that way this time," Danny continued, crouching in front of the desk and resting his chin on the ledge. Matt stared at him from around the edge of the laptop. "This time it's us, man. We've got control of a nineteen-share every Friday night and the insanely hot network president is -- "

"Behindyou," Matt sneezed.

"Hi boys," said Jordan McDeere, leaning against the doorframe. "You should listen to him, Matt. Not about the insanely hot part -- "

" -- yeah, sorry about that -- " Danny muttered.

" -- 'cause that's self-evident. All the rest though, good stuff."

"He should write his own speeches," Matt retorted. "He's going to be the president."

"Of the United States?"

"Apparently," Matt said, holding up the sticker again.

"I've seen it."

"Man, that means everyone -- " Matt began.

"Have you boys seen your cars?" Jordan asked.

Danny and Matt exchanged horrified looks. As one, they rose and bolted for the parking lot.


It would not have been comedy to slap a bumper sticker on the fender of each car. The cast of Studio 60 knew comedy, and that wasn't comedy. It would not even have been comedy to cover the fenders of each car with bumper stickers or plaster them on the windows or doors. That wasn't comedy, that was vandalism.

Comedy was carefully placing one bumper sticker on the fender of each car and then supergluing huge white rosettes to the grilles just above the fenders and then decorating the hoods with red and blue bunting and then draping little American flags from the antennas and then taping "WHITE HOUSE OR BUST" signs to the rear windshields with more bunting attached and then covering every uncovered inch of space with star-shaped glitter.

"Danny," Matt said, hands shoved in pockets, studying his car thoughtfully. He could hear people giggling inside the studio.

"Yeah Matt?" Danny asked. He had mistakenly tried to brush some of the glitter off his car and it was now all over his hands and trousers.

"I want you to fire everyone in the props department."

"Then we'd have to fire the cast, too. They're a bad influence."

"I'm feeling pretty okay with that right now," Matt said. "Think we could do the show with sock-puppets?"

"Not if we fire props."


"How far are you on this week's script?" Danny inquired.

"What're you thinking?"

"I'm thinking we're going to take our presidential cars and drive to the nearest bar and take the rest of the day off."

"Meeting the constituents," Matt nodded. "Good plan."

ext_1059: (Ronald Reagan 1967)

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)
You're FAR ahead of Sorkin so far, bay-beee...

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 06:13 pm (UTC)(link)

Tell me again why you're not watching Doctor Who so I can castigate you again? I want *you* who-fic. Especially as there's a werewolf-episode.

Mood: Regretting not downloading & using the On The Beach icon

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I watched an episode of Who or two...I dunno. It just seems kind of limited to me. :)

[identity profile] 2006-10-27 06:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Was it old Who or new Who?

I am, for the first time since Stealing Harry, actually slashing somethng. No, cut that. This is canon slash. The Doctor/Jack. You would LOVE Torchwood, yo. Okay, maybe not the RAPIST or the gratuitous gaykissing, but, um, hello. There is an actually lovestory going on between two characters, and one isn't even on the damn show.

[identity profile] 2006-10-28 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
It was New Who -- the episode where they crashland on the planet where Satan is imprisoned or something like that? :D

[identity profile] 2006-10-28 12:07 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, God, not our finest hour. Plz to dnt be thinking of hour show that way, even though most of New Who fandom is?

I like the Madame de Pompadour one, the one with Sarah Jane, the one with the Fandomers (a whole show on us!), and most of series one. Yes.

[identity profile] 2010-01-20 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
Don't eat your words, SAM. :0)

[identity profile] 2010-01-20 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
Hey, look at the episodes I saw :D

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
So much love. *giggles*

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 06:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Sam! This is brilliant!
But don't get too attached to the show, apparently it's not long for this world.

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, you're KIDDING ME. They're not going to pull it, are they?

Well, considering what happened to Sports Night, they probably are.


[identity profile] 2006-10-08 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
S'only what I've read. But this is why:
1st ep: rating 8.6 share 14
2nd ep: rating 7.5 share 12
3rd ep: rating 6.0 share 10

[identity profile] 2006-10-08 12:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Wah. *sighs* And it's not like I've noticed a drop in quality!

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 06:52 pm (UTC)(link)

That is awesome.

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Feel free to take these characters on a test drive as often as you like because that's just beautiful. I love the image of Danny crouching in front of Matt's desk and resting his chin on the ledge. Absolutely perfect!

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 07:21 pm (UTC)(link)

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 07:33 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHAHAHAHAHA. ::laughs some more:: You've got the voices down great, Sam. Excellent fic snippet!

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 07:37 pm (UTC)(link)
*cracks up* Oh, I love this!

And that "Could you not try to ease the tension?" line sounds like it is coming out of Matt Perry's mouth.

I love the "behindyou" sneeze, too...and I adore, adore, adore the decorated cars.

And I love that they can't do it with sockpuppets if they fire props. That, too, was a conversation straight from the show.

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 07:47 pm (UTC)(link)
And I do adore that "the internet made it." It is a creation of the web--not of people. Often scarily true.

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 10:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Matthew Perry is fun to write for because he's so expressive, you can HEAR him saying his lines. He was always my favourite on Friends and it's nice to see him expanding outward, not sticking with sitcoms like the others have.

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 07:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Nice story, first one I've read on that show and I loved it. IS it Monday yet?

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Well I tried!

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
This is the simplest all-around compliment I can give you on this, both content and overall:

You know your comedy, man. ^_^

(And the Sorkin voice! Oh, spot-on.)

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 10:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! Sorkin's fun to imitate :D

[identity profile] 2006-10-07 09:35 pm (UTC)(link)
more? please? tghis is excellent.

[identity profile] 2006-10-08 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
....astfdsgagal. I didn't think you have it done so soon....

(And, "test drive" means more, right? Like lots more?)

[identity profile] 2006-10-08 12:03 am (UTC)(link)
LOL, the funny thing was, I hadn't written any of it when I told you I was working on one. I had just mentally written a few lines. :D

I'm hoping there will be more...

[identity profile] 2006-10-08 12:57 am (UTC)(link)


Oh, I adore your writing, Sam! You got the characters down perfectly!


[identity profile] 2006-10-08 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
*dances and sings*

You rock my world you know you do...

Okay, I'll stop. Anyways, Studio 60 fanfic? So awesome. Like seriously. I miss my West Wing fanfic... I need Sorkin fanfic replacement :)

Fic: Meeting the Constituents

[identity profile] 2006-10-08 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, the internet again, fabulous.
And excellent Jordan.

[identity profile] 2006-10-08 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
Hah! Okay, that's everything I like about the show, with none of the bits I don't, all in one tasty little package with skit ideas that are *funnier* than what actually appears on the show. Good show, Sam!

[identity profile] 2006-10-08 03:33 am (UTC)(link)
You're a bad influence. ::points to icon:: But such a fun bad influence!

[identity profile] 2006-10-08 12:30 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL! That's awesome :D

[identity profile] 2006-10-08 12:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I had been wondering just how long it was going to take you to get into this show.

I love the have such talent with that. As for the cars...welllll, wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicked!

Hope you found the test drive successful. (I did. :-)

[identity profile] 2006-10-08 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)

[identity profile] 2006-10-08 02:52 pm (UTC)(link)
GOLD. This is GOLD. I'm putting it in my pocket FOREVER.

[identity profile] 2006-10-08 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
HEE. I like! In some areas, it was better than the show itself. ^_-

[identity profile] 2006-10-08 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Totally awesome. You have the banter down perfectly.
bookfanatic: Image: white spider over desert landscape, Source: cover of My Chemical Romance's album Danger Days (Default)

[personal profile] bookfanatic 2006-10-09 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
This is lovely! Thank you for writing it.

[identity profile] 2006-10-13 04:18 am (UTC)(link)
YES! LYMAN FOR PRESIDENT!!! Um, I mean Tripp. Definitely. Tripp. I am not in denial about West Wing, and the First Lady will not be a leggy blonde.

Seriously though, this is incredibly perfect, as if you continue with the test driving and possibly steal the car, then I will have my favorite fanfiction author writing for both of my favorite TV shows AND Ouran. Which will rock. Thank you Sam!

[identity profile] 2006-10-29 05:34 pm (UTC)(link)
See, now I want you on the writer's team of Studio 60. Think they're looking?

[identity profile] 2006-10-29 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I wish! :D

[identity profile] 2007-07-29 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
*giggles madly* Now I want you to write in slash! And I've only seen two episodes! *giggles madly again*