ROFL. I actually found this because someone on fanficrants made a post about having posted a fic where "Lupin" was misspelled as "Lupus". I am a bit sad that lupus never came up, but I suppose it would be very difficult to make them think Lupin had lupus unless he'd been the victim of a particularly nasty hex in addition to running around being all wolfy.

Anyway, I LOL'd. The way you've written House is especially delightful. But you had Cameron say he was found wearing nothing but his "pants", yet Snape says he's lost his "trousers". One assumes that this means Cameron meant he was in his underpants, but Americans don't say "pants" for "underpants". They say "underpants", "underwear", "boxers", "briefs", etc.