Someone wrote in [personal profile] sam_storyteller 2005-08-01 08:39 pm (UTC)

dissenting opinion

This is me wincing: *winces*.

I'm the minority voice; not in love with this installment.

Couple of points about this chapter:
1) style
The opening to this one doesn't...flow?...like your usual deft writing. Maybe it's the sheer amount of exposition you covered in this one? It just feels like much more "telling, not showing" than you normally do.
I think I mostly missed your dialogue. You do it so well.

2) substance
I'm suspicious of mentor/mentee romance and downright nervous about parent/child romance.
I realize this isn't Sirius Prime, but I worry about Harry's psyche. This could do a real number on him.

- Random Surfer

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