It's impossible to know when Steve and Tony are fighting anymore, and when they're just talking.
Part of this is because Tony gets incrementally louder when he talks, and with a normal person it's almost unnoticeable, but with Steve every time Tony gets louder Steve has to get just a tiny bit louder than him. Tony's used to yelling over engines and Steve's got a pair of lungs on him like an operatic baritone, and half the time anyway they are yelling over engines at each other, because if Steve didn't hang out in Tony's workshop they'd see each other about once a week at best. But it might not be fighting, because sometimes the yelling is just about what to get for dinner.
The other half is, well...
Rhodey's used to Tony's talking-over-people thing. It's just that Tony is good at predicting outcomes and can't wait for people to get to the end of a sentence. Tony's aware this is rude, but he doesn't mean to be, he just bores easily and also it gets him his way more than is good for him.
Rhodey and Pepper can hold conversations with Tony like this, because they've been exposed to him for years. Steve can do it because the serum made him adaptable, so he caught on after a month or two. The rest -- Clint, Natasha, Thor, even brainy Bruce -- don't stand a chance with Tony, let alone when Tony and Steve are both doing it. They tend to quietly leave the room.
" -- in my pants, Tony!" Rhodey hears, and that'd be a cue for him to leave, but he's always been a masochist, so he peers around the doorway to the workshop.
"I know they're your -- "
" -- and I'm in them, you can't -- "
" -- pants, that's why I'm trying to -- "
"modify them," they both say in unison, and then Steve adds, "while I'm wearing them!"
Steve is shirtless, wearing his uniform pants, and Tony is testing elastic strapping hooked up to what looks like some spare repulsors.
"It's going to add a hundred pounds -- " " -- you said you could carry -- " " -- in the field if necessary -- " " -- as much as I could throw at you -- " " -- but that much constant weight is going to slow me down and I can't -- " " -- fuck's sake, Clint and Natasha are going to have to learn sometime you won't always be there to -- " " -- rescue Clint or Natasha if I'm -- " " -- save them, and anyway if I -- " " -- Tony you don't mean that -- " "-- hook these babies up you can fly!"
JARVIS interjects, "Ninety-nine pounds and two ounces," calmly.
It's the "You don't mean that" from Steve which gets Rhodey, because that's the difference: Tony's always steamrollering, denigrating, making jokes, and Steve is just so earnest when he talks over Tony, like he's not arguing so much as speaking a separate language that happens to sound like English.
"Take off your pants then," Tony says and he gets to "Take" when Steve says, "No, you're not getting your hands on them," and he gets to "getting" when Tony says "You can't keep them from me forever."
Steve crosses his arms, then uncrosses them to bat Tony away from his pants, and says, "I'm never telling you war stories again."
Rhodey coughs.
"Rhodey!" both men say, Steve in surprise, Tony in pleasure.
"Do I need to give you two separate corners to sit in?" Rhodey asks.
"He jumped on a grenade," Tony says, and Steve rolls over him with, "When I was in Basic! And it was a dummy!" and Dummy perks up interestedly.
"Sorry, not you, Dummy," Steve says politely. Dummy makes a little servo-coo of pleasure at being acknowledged.
"My robots like him more than they like me," Tony says to Rhodey.
"Everyone likes him more than you. You like him more than you," Rhodey points out.
"And I'm nice to them," Steve adds.
"You did program us to respond to positive reinforcement, Mr. Stark," JARVIS puts in.
"What can we do for you, Colonel Rhodes?" Steve asks.
"Natasha sent me down. There's an Abbot and Costello marathon on -- "
"Oh! Abbot and Costello!" Steve says, as soon as Rhodey gets "Abbot" out, and hops around Tony's workbench, running for the stairs. "I love them!"
"He loves them," Tony says unnecessarily, at the same time. Steve is up the steps to the mansion's main floor before either of them can remind him he has no shirt on.
"Let him go," Tony sighs. "It'll be a nice treat for the others."
Then he looks around and swears.
"What?" Rhodey asks.
"That motherfucker took my positrator."
Rhodey doesn't know, and doesn't want to know, what a positrator is.
"He's going to reprogram the television again!" Tony cries, and rushes out of the room. As Rhodey turns, he hears Tony yell back, "Last time he made it holographic and scared the shit out of Thor!"
Upstairs, Pepper collars Rhodey in the kitchen.
"Did you ask?" she asks, and he shakes his head before she's done.
"The two of us and the two of them on a double date?" he says. "It'd be a disaster."
He gets to "on" before she answers, "Okay yeah maybe you're right."
In the living room there's a faint cry of Steve, a toaster is not an automatic weapon! and an answering cry of, It will be when I'm done with it!
Re: entirely too long comment
***
It's impossible to know when Steve and Tony are fighting anymore, and when they're just talking.
Part of this is because Tony gets incrementally louder when he talks, and with a normal person it's almost unnoticeable, but with Steve every time Tony gets louder Steve has to get just a tiny bit louder than him. Tony's used to yelling over engines and Steve's got a pair of lungs on him like an operatic baritone, and half the time anyway they are yelling over engines at each other, because if Steve didn't hang out in Tony's workshop they'd see each other about once a week at best. But it might not be fighting, because sometimes the yelling is just about what to get for dinner.
The other half is, well...
Rhodey's used to Tony's talking-over-people thing. It's just that Tony is good at predicting outcomes and can't wait for people to get to the end of a sentence. Tony's aware this is rude, but he doesn't mean to be, he just bores easily and also it gets him his way more than is good for him.
Rhodey and Pepper can hold conversations with Tony like this, because they've been exposed to him for years. Steve can do it because the serum made him adaptable, so he caught on after a month or two. The rest -- Clint, Natasha, Thor, even brainy Bruce -- don't stand a chance with Tony, let alone when Tony and Steve are both doing it. They tend to quietly leave the room.
" -- in my pants, Tony!" Rhodey hears, and that'd be a cue for him to leave, but he's always been a masochist, so he peers around the doorway to the workshop.
"I know they're your -- "
" -- and I'm in them, you can't -- "
" -- pants, that's why I'm trying to -- "
"modify them," they both say in unison, and then Steve adds, "while I'm wearing them!"
Steve is shirtless, wearing his uniform pants, and Tony is testing elastic strapping hooked up to what looks like some spare repulsors.
"It's going to add a hundred pounds -- " " -- you said you could carry -- " " -- in the field if necessary -- " " -- as much as I could throw at you -- " " -- but that much constant weight is going to slow me down and I can't -- " " -- fuck's sake, Clint and Natasha are going to have to learn sometime you won't always be there to -- " " -- rescue Clint or Natasha if I'm -- " " -- save them, and anyway if I -- " " -- Tony you don't mean that -- " "-- hook these babies up you can fly!"
JARVIS interjects, "Ninety-nine pounds and two ounces," calmly.
It's the "You don't mean that" from Steve which gets Rhodey, because that's the difference: Tony's always steamrollering, denigrating, making jokes, and Steve is just so earnest when he talks over Tony, like he's not arguing so much as speaking a separate language that happens to sound like English.
"Take off your pants then," Tony says and he gets to "Take" when Steve says, "No, you're not getting your hands on them," and he gets to "getting" when Tony says "You can't keep them from me forever."
Steve crosses his arms, then uncrosses them to bat Tony away from his pants, and says, "I'm never telling you war stories again."
Rhodey coughs.
"Rhodey!" both men say, Steve in surprise, Tony in pleasure.
"Do I need to give you two separate corners to sit in?" Rhodey asks.
"He jumped on a grenade," Tony says, and Steve rolls over him with, "When I was in Basic! And it was a dummy!" and Dummy perks up interestedly.
"Sorry, not you, Dummy," Steve says politely. Dummy makes a little servo-coo of pleasure at being acknowledged.
"My robots like him more than they like me," Tony says to Rhodey.
"Everyone likes him more than you. You like him more than you," Rhodey points out.
"And I'm nice to them," Steve adds.
"You did program us to respond to positive reinforcement, Mr. Stark," JARVIS puts in.
"What can we do for you, Colonel Rhodes?" Steve asks.
"Natasha sent me down. There's an Abbot and Costello marathon on -- "
"Oh! Abbot and Costello!" Steve says, as soon as Rhodey gets "Abbot" out, and hops around Tony's workbench, running for the stairs. "I love them!"
"He loves them," Tony says unnecessarily, at the same time. Steve is up the steps to the mansion's main floor before either of them can remind him he has no shirt on.
"Let him go," Tony sighs. "It'll be a nice treat for the others."
Then he looks around and swears.
"What?" Rhodey asks.
"That motherfucker took my positrator."
Rhodey doesn't know, and doesn't want to know, what a positrator is.
"He's going to reprogram the television again!" Tony cries, and rushes out of the room. As Rhodey turns, he hears Tony yell back, "Last time he made it holographic and scared the shit out of Thor!"
Upstairs, Pepper collars Rhodey in the kitchen.
"Did you ask?" she asks, and he shakes his head before she's done.
"The two of us and the two of them on a double date?" he says. "It'd be a disaster."
He gets to "on" before she answers, "Okay yeah maybe you're right."
In the living room there's a faint cry of Steve, a toaster is not an automatic weapon! and an answering cry of, It will be when I'm done with it!