sadams119 ([personal profile] sadams119) wrote in [personal profile] sam_storyteller 2010-10-16 12:07 am (UTC)

Thanks for the food warning! I went downstairs and made biscuits before reading, so I go to read while eating warm buttered biscuits--delicious! I especially liked your descriptions of June's family; the dynamics seemed very real. And of course I love the bakery; As a former baker I can tell you that you got the crazy rush in the front completely right! The sense of love and giving that comes with baking is true, too--it's such a personal job. (Can you tell I miss it?)

I had a bit of confusion as to the positioning of Peter, El, and Neal on the couch in the last part, though. It took several rereads until I figured out that Neal starts out sitting on the floor, yes?
perhaps you could mention that he sits on the floor here? Just a thought.

"You're my favorite criminal," she says, as Neal settles in with his back to the sofa, her knees pressed against the back of his shoulder. She strokes his hair, and Neal reaches up to steal a handful of popcorn from Peter.

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