Harry nodded, turning back to his food while around him the other third-year Slytherins found new and inventive ways to simulate the sex act with mashed potatoes, porkchops, and dinner rolls.

I read your HP for sentences like this, fleshes out the story it does. Makes it more realistic. Plus, it's good!

Sam, PLEASE tell me you're not planning on pairing up the foursome romantically, because that just won't do. I'd need sporks.