sam_storyteller: (Crossover Fic)
This is a compendium of the "Hydrocodone Midnight Theatre" posts I did while I was recovering from surgery in late November. Essentially I would sit up after my folks went to bed and write fanfic to various prompts while tripping out on my (prescribed!) painkillers.

tehnakki: I love how suggestible you are when stoned! I should have spent today preparing weird fic ideas to take advantage of you in this state.
copperbadge: I’m spending like the next four days on high doses of opiates, so you’ve got time...

You can find all the original posts plus various side discussions under this tag on tumblr.

ONE: THE LONG CON
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Pepper Potts has a secret past.
Prompt: rielrolling: Pepper is BFFs with one of Neal Caffrey’s aliases because ~art luv~ and they meet and hijinks with Extremis and theft.

Also available at AO3. The original draft of this story may be found here.

It was about ten minutes to 'We should have left ten minutes ago'... )

TWO: TURKEY SOLDIER
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Bucky has a firm policy: never say no to free food, especially on Thanksgiving.
Notes: Coauthored by Historymiss on Tumblr
Prompt: HistoryMiss: "Thanksgiving headcanon: Bucky totally attends every Thanksgiving dinner he’s invited to, from the group Avengers meal to the one at Becca’s home to the Capfamily one with Rikki and Steve and Sharon and Sam, and ends the day full of like 8 different turkeys and well on the way to drunk but it’s totally worth it."

Also available at AO3.

1. Maria Stark Foundation Charity Brunch )

THREE: CONTROLLED BLAST
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Summary: In which Tony Stark is training John Sheppard for another mouthy scientist, far in his future.
Prompt: anarialm: Look, all I want is the story about how John Sheppard and Tony Stark attended boarding school together. Is that so much to ask?

Also available at AO3. The original draft of the story may be found here.

IEL was not the most prestigious school in the country... )

FOUR: BUS PARTY
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Dubious consent due to sex pollen; minor mentions of daddy kink
Summary: Sex gas, Latveria, and a SHIELD orgy.
Prompt: daroos: I was not anticipating how much I would just want an Agents of SHIELD orgy. Throw in whichever Avengers you think might be fun, but fer serious, can all of them just have a mad 70’s sex party on the bus? Sam? Can you make this happen?

Also available at AO3. The original draft of the story may be found here.

Coulson, to his credit, didn’t panic. )

FIVE: SHERLOCK AND WATSON
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Summary: Watson chivvies Sherlock Holmes out of his rooms, again.
Prompt: Based on this photograph and RDJ's caption of it. romantic-chamber-of-the-heart: Now I can’t stop picturing this version of Holmes & Watson. Like the Mary Russell books but with John and Mary’s daughter who just gets called “Watson Jr.” all the time.

Also available at AO3. The original draft of this story may be found here.

Read more... )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Title: Five Stories Sam Won't Write And One He Did By Accident
Fandoms: Torchwood, Doctor Who, and SGA
Rating: PG-13, I suppose. I'm not sure how to rate implicit sex with frondy aliens.
Summary: Extended summaries of five fanfics I'm never going to write, and one fanfic that I wrote accidentally while trying to write a summary for it.
Spoilers: Through the end of S2 for Torchwood and SGA, S4 for Doctor Who
Warnings: Discussion of PTSD.

Originally posted 7.2.08

1. Typing, Telephones, Light Filing - Torchwood/Who, Donna/Jack/Ianto )

2. The One On The Right Is On The Left - SGA, hints of McKay/Sheppard )

3. Please, Don't Ask - SGA, Sheppard/Other, Sheppard/McKay )

4. Employee Assessment - Torchwood, Gen )

5. Talking is Overrated - Torchwood, Jack/Ianto, Ianto/Gwen )

6. Stupid Human Tricks -- Torchwood/Who crossover, Jack/Ianto, Jack/OAC ( )
sam_storyteller: (Crossover Fic)
Title: Half A Dozen Laconic Bastards
Rating: PG
Summary: John Sheppard didn't know he was part of an ATA-gene cloning project until it was much, much too late. Neal and Zane have a serious case of sibling rivalry, Ianto and Tim don't like the uniforms, and Gwen isn't sure she wants to be leader after all.
Fandoms: Stargate: Atlantis, White Collar, Eureka, Teen Titans, and Torchwood.
Warnings: None.
Betas: [personal profile] girlpearl, [livejournal.com profile] juniper200
Notes: I'm aware the timing does not work in the slightest. If that's what you're hung up on, you're in for trouble, because this is a dumb fanfic. I mean, it's really dumb. I can't believe I squeezed almost five thousand words out of an idea this ridiculous. So don't say you weren't warned. This fanfic: Rated D, for Dumb.

Now a podfic by [livejournal.com profile] reena_jenkins! Also available at AO3.

Originally Posted 10.07.10

So what did you do before the terrifying secret government agents showed up on your doorstep to tell you that you were a freaky half-clone? )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
God save our Queen and heaven bless,
The Maple Leaf Forever.
-- Alexander Muir


My Home And Native Land: Post-Story Notes )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
And may those ties of love be ours
Which discord cannot sever
And flourish green for freedom's home
The Maple Leaf Forever


My Home And Native Land, 4/4 )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
At Queenston Heights and Lundy's Lane
Our brave fathers side by side
For freedom's home and loved ones dear,
Firmly stood and nobly died.


My Home And Native Land, 3/4 )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Here may it wave,
Our boast, our pride
And joined in love together,
The thistle, shamrock, rose entwined,
The Maple Leaf Forever.


My Home And Native Land, 2/4 )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Title: My Home And Native Land, 1/4
Rating: PG
Pairings: Gen; a little McKay/Sheppard on the side, but that's about it.
Warnings: None.
Summary: Ronon's friendship with Chuck, the head Gate Tech of the Atlantis mission, leads him to discover the strange and alien ways of Canadians and helps him lay his past to rest.

Now a podfic by [livejournal.com profile] julii_wolfe!

Also available at AO3.

In Days of yore,
From Britain's shore
Wolfe the dauntless hero came
And planted firm Britannia's flag
On Canada's fair domain.


My Home And Native Land, 1/4 )
sam_storyteller: (Crossover Fic)
Title: Technically, or, Another Humorous Interlude Between Epics
Rating: PG-13 for talk of orgies
Summary: The Rift has a sense of humour and is not afraid to use it. Torchwood/SGA crossover.
Notes: I wasn't originally going to post this, but I figured as long as I was reposting all the SGA fic after the Hack of 08, I might as well add something fun in.
Warnings: None.

Now available at AO3.

Technically )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
She would have loved you, loving me.
She had a voice as fine --
I love you more for such a kiss,
And here is mine, is mine.
-- Mark Van Doren


Angles Thus And So: Post-Story Notes )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Note: This is a gratuitous out-of-story chapter which is basically just light bondage porn. If you'd like to skip it you won't miss anything vital -- just follow the link to Chapter Two.

Otherwise, enjoy!

Angles Thus And So, 1a/4 )

Link to Chapter 2
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Title: Angles Thus And So, 1/4
Rating: R (Weir/McKay, Sheppard/McKay, the latter closer to PG-13)
Summary: The city belongs to Sheppard and McKay, and the boys belong to Elizabeth -- especially Rodney.
Warnings: Canonical character death.

Now available at AO3.

Angles Thus and So, 1/4 )
sam_storyteller: (Crossover Fic)
Title: Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodies, or, A Humourous Interlude Between Epics
Rating: PG
Summary: Ianto neglected to introduce himself as he informed the senior staff that Atlantis was now under the jurisdiction of Torchwood, whatever Torchwood is. Set during S1, pre-Siege.
Warnings: None.
Notes: Torchwood/SGA crossover. This could be a whole AU where Torchwood takes over command of Atlantis, except I'm not a masochist.

Now Available on AO3.

Originally posted 10/3/2008.

[livejournal.com profile] reena_jenkins has done a podfic of this fic!

Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodies )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death’s other Kingdom
Remember us—if at all—not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
-- TS Eliot, The Hollow Men


In the words of Matt Albie, this was not the comedy we intended to do when the week began.

The Difference Engine: Post-Story Notes )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Alchemy:
The early study of science, combining chemistry, metallurgy,
physics, medicine, and mysticism in the search for revelation.


The Difference Engine: Epilogue )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
...and sulfur represented the soul.


The Difference Engine 3/3 )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
...mercury represented the moral and creative spirit...


The Difference Engine, 2/3 )
sam_storyteller: (Default)
Title: The Difference Engine
Rating: R
Summary: Sheppard remembered dying in Afghanistan, but since he was still walking around he didn't pay that memory too much mind. (Sheppard/McKay)
Warnings: Canonical character death.
Thanks and credit: To [personal profile] hija_paloma for Sheppard's euphemism translations, and to every SGA fan on my LJ for proclaiming there were tons of Sheppard Is A Robot fics, which turned out to be a cruel and unusual lie.

This fanfic is now available at AO3.

Tria Prima:
An alchemical theory put forth by Paracelsus,
that the universe is composed of three elements:
Salt, Mercury, and Sulfur. In human terms,
salt represented the body...


The Difference Engine, 1/3 )

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On Storytelling:

Fanfiction is a way of the culture repairing the damage done in a system where contemporary myths are owned by corporations instead of owned by folk.
-- Henry Jenkins

Life is very short. We die on the march. But there is nothing outside the march so nothing can be lost to it. The missing plays of Sophocles will turn up piece by piece, or be written again in another language.
-- Tom Stoppard

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
-- G. Bernard Shaw

A good story should provoke discussion, debate, argument...and the occasional bar fight.
-- J. Michael Strazynski

Here's how to become a great artist. First, get miserable. Misery drives you to become a great artist, but the art does nothing for your misery, which drives you to drugs, which makes you a lousy artist.
-- House M.D.

Humans? They're long gone. Vanished. Extinct. They only exist in stories.
-- Ferngully

Anton Chekov, who was a doctor, said, "Medicine is my wife; writing is my mistress."

Se non e vero, e ben trovato. (Even if it’s not true, it’s a good story.)
-- Italian Proverb

The recipe for becoming a good novelist is easy to give, but to carry it out presupposes qualities one is accustomed to overlook. One has only to make a hundred or so sketches for novels, none longer than two pages but of such distinctness that every word in them is necessary. One should write down anecdotes every day until one has learnt how to give them the most pregnant and effective form; one should be tireless in collecting and describing human types and characters; one should above all relate things to others and listen to others relate, keeping one's eyes and ears open for the effect produced on those present, one should travel like a landscape painter or costume designer. One should, finally, reflect on the motives of human actions, disdain no signpost for instruction about them and be a collector of these things by day and night. One should continue in this many-sided exercise for some ten years; what is then created in the workshop will be fit to go out into the world.
-- Nietzsche

The thief. Once committed beyond a certain point he should not worry himself too much. Thieving is God's message to him. Let him try and be a good thief.
-- Samuel Butler

What is written without effort is generally read without pleasure.
-- Samuel Johnson

Same story, different versions, and all are true.
-- POTC: Dead Man's Chest

I am a humble artist
moulding my earthly clod,
adding my labour to nature's,
simply assisting God.
-- Piet Hein

Every archaeologist knows in his heart why he digs. He digs, in pity and humility, that the dead may live again, that what is past may not be forever lost, that something may be salvaged from the wrack of the ages.
-- From "The Testimony of the Spade"

Reading maketh a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man.
-- Francis Bacon

It is better, of course, to know useless things than to know nothing.
-- Seneca epistles 88 45

When asked how she acquired her knowledge of science, Octavia Butler replied, "I read."

Imagination is more important than information.
-- Albert Einstein

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